I caught you a delicious bass...

Thursday was a good day. After taking it (relatively) easy on Wednesday, we got up in plenty of time to hit Starbuck's and see the Keynote Address. Why does Starbuck's put that hard sugar crud on the tops of their muffins? It's a little bit weird. Oh well.

Went to the Austin Convention Centre to see Neil Young in conversation with Johnathan Demme. Of course it was totally RAD to see Neil, but to see him chatting with the guy who made - among others - Silence Of The Lambs was pretty cool. Neil talked about his various projects, and what struck me the most was how many different types of folks were there. No matter how old you are or what kind of music you like, there are about 65 Neil Young albums geared to your taste. He takes a lot of shit from people who want to see him play "Needle & the Damage Done" and "Heart of Gold" but no matter what the guy does, it's fucking brilliant. And the fact that he was really funny too, that was just a bonus.

Scoped out the trade show. Got as much schwag as possible - lighters, lanyards, magazines, etc. as possible. Free stuff – ahh, the wonder of it all! The lighters cannot go home with me, but the sharpies will. And you can never have too many sharpies.

SOCAN/ASCAP boat ride. This is an interesting exercise where the music royalty associations to whom we pay 3% of everything we take at the door pay us back with a 45 minute cruise on Town Lake where they give us sandwiches and free beer. Seems like a pretty good trade-off to me!

The UK Music Association has their party in Brush Square, right at the heart of the action. It's a lot like the Canadian party, except that they don't give out drink tickets. Rather, they just have an open bar policy, which makes is a far-more-fun event than many. There seem to be four types of parties here:

1.The invite-only party, where you have to know someone to get in. These ones tend to have high profile music and LOTS for free booze.
2.The sort-of-invite-only party, where you might have to get on the list beforehand, but you can probably talk your way in with a good attitude and a badge. There will still be free booze
3.The awareness-raising party – staged by various music associations, agencies, and so on and so forth. These are advertised to the general conference populace and likely will give you a beer ticket or two at the door. Unless you know someone who is connected the party's sponsor, in which case you can swing more.
4.The lame-ass party, which is sponsored by someone or something that wants to advertise itself but doesn't want to spend a penny. These are public events and take place in bars where you have to pay regular price for every drink.

It just now occurs to me that there is a 6th kind pf party, and this one is cool. It takes place in an alley and is open to anyone who can damn well find it. There is live music, and all the free Pabst Blue Ribbon you can ingest. I really think it's the best kind of party, and not just because they only serve the PBR!

In any case, there are lots of parties and they usually involve some combination of food, booze, and music. Some are memorable by their abundance of beer, some by the lack of it. The UK party was definitely one of the former, while the High Times magazine party definitely falls into the latter category.

A quick trip up Red River takes us to the Mint / Six Shooter Records party, hosted by my great pal, the lovely and talented miss Carolyn Mark. Mint is not only Carolyn's musical home, but also some of my other friends including Novillero and Neko Case. Six Shooter is like the Toronto version of Mint – my friend and dog-walking buddy Christine Fellows, as well as Luke Doucet who I don't know well but I certainly do hope his album Broken and Other Rogue States wins a Juno this year. This party is a hootenanny affair – Carolyn is in charge and makes various and sundry members of every band on both labels play together in an afternoon orgy of gin and Can-Con.

As an aside: Carolyn is taking the Hootenanny on tour to Ontario this year – it will feature O Suzanna, Luther Wright, Geoff Berner, Shuyler Jansen, and a few others. If you're in the biggest province, make sure you don't miss this!

Heading out from the Mint party, I detour with my friend Greg (an Albertan) to the Albert party. It's in Brush Square but unfortunately the sound from the very raucous Japanese party in the next tent drowns out the songwriters. Bad timing perhaps...in any case I decide it would be good to hit the hotel for an hour, get off the feet and take a little break in preparation for the big night tonight. With that sage idea in mind I stay in the park and have a few more drinks. So many, in fact, that my travelling companion has spent an hour doing exactly what I had planned and already returned to the park.

That's when the text message comes in. I don't know if this is a new thing this year or not since my Telus phone refuses to text anything properly down here in the USA, but my buddy gets a message saying “Beastie Boys @ Stubb's, 7:15. Badges only.” So with a vague idea that it might get a little busy, we head to Stubb's. The lineup is down the block, around the corner, and down a hill. We decide it would be well worth the risk, so we get in line. Some dudes from the venue are checking valid badges and then handing out coloured wristbands to mark us as “yes, you really are in line.” Other people are not so lucky. Well, the ones without the badges, which I guess makes them not “unlucky,” but rather just not entitled to the same access as us.

There is a really interesting class system at this conference/festival – it goes “badge, wristband, proletariat.” I'm usually much more of a socialist, but in this case, I paid good money to get into these venues and you didn't, so get the hell out of my way!

Anyway. We stand in the line for about 45 minutes when it starts to move. It seems that they split it half way up and started letting people into the venue from another entrance, much closer to where we are standing. Jackpot! We're going to be in in no time! Then, as if by the hand of god, they decide to close that door when we're about 20 people away. Sucks, we'll be going in the front door.

As the line moves, ever so slowly, we notice another line on the main road. It seems to be wristband holders – people who didn't but as expensive a thing as us. They start letting some of them in. Which, despite my socialism, is a real pisser. I mean, what am I paying for? I actually came here to attend the conference, and to take part in lots of the event as opposed to those who just come to see shows. I think it annoyed lots of people in our lineup when they saw this happening. Oh well, some food for thought for the future.

Anyway, all that aside, we get in. Beasties are great. They open with Brass Monkey, and lead a singalong of “Paul Revere.” It was hugely fun. The only regret I have is that I stayed for the whole thing which meant that I missed a good portion of John Vanderslice's set. I did catch about 3 songs at the end, and they were great. He's so good. If you don't know who he is, I highly recommend you check him out on Barsuk Records.

I head to the Mint Records showcase afterwards, just as Miss Carolyn is taking the stage. I've seen a million Carolyn Mark shows over the years, and you know what the weird thing is? I've never seen a BAD Carolyn Mark show. She is, without a doubt, the best entertainer working in Canada. The Mint showcase is hosted by Nardwuar the Human Serviette. I like Nardwuar because he is the man who not only inspired former Prime Minister Jean Chretien to say “Pepper? I put it on my plate...” but who also told former leader of the USSR Mikhail Gorbachev to “Keep on Rockin In The Free World” - in Russian. Good fellow.

Leaving the Mint showcase I had to the Bloodshot showcase to see a one-man blues wrecking crew called Scott H. Biram. One of the things about any kind of huge multi-band extravaganza is the happy discoveries. In this case, while waiting for the aforementioned Mr. Biram, I bore witness to a band called the Deadstring Brothers, who were really into 70s rock. Think Stones – Exile on Main Street – but younger and less emaciated. It was great, as was Scott, who took the stage right afterwards.

Back to the Mint showcase – it's in the neighbourhood, and my friends from Novillero are playing. I like that band a lot. Go buy their album Aim Right For the Holes In Their Lives – it's one of the best of 2005. I watch them for a bit before I head to my own special treat of the week – the new lineup of The Alarm. Mike Peters is the only original member, but the new lineup is good and they rock out. The Alarm is a band that I listened to incessantly in high school, and was sad when they released an album called Raw. Let's face it, when one of your favourite bands puts out an album that just plain SUCKS, it's disappointing. And I'm not talking about a band doing some experimentation, changing things up (see Neil Young, above), but rather just losing the ability to make good records. Fortunately, The Alarm disbanded – ha! Dis-BAND-ed! - shortly thereafter. To date, U2 still hasn't realized that Rattle & Hum was the last good record they will ever make, and continue to put out complete shit. Oh well, there's some men you just can't reach.

Anyway, the Alarm has a new lineup and it was great. They also have a new record com gin out so they played more new stuff than hits, but it all sounds like it comes from the same place. I saw Mike Peters solo last year and it was ALL hits, so I guess he's allowed to try and get people excited about his new stuff now. The thing about the Alarm was another one of those “pleasant surprises” before the show. This time it was a band called The Like from Los Angeles. I saw a lot of all-girl rock bands, and they stood out.

Edit: I have since found out that the ultra-lameass Canadian band Magneta Lane is talking shit about The Like. Too bad Magneta lane sucks!

I have been in Texas for about 30 hours or so now, and some swell stuff has happened thus far. You know going into something like this that weird shit will happen, but so far it's been great. My chronicle to date (and when my phone can send pictures, watch for the visuals. In the meantime, you're stuck with words. For complaints or concerns please call Telus, who can't seem to figure out text messaging!)

Tuesday evening:

Arrived hotel. Unpacked; hit the Green Mesquite for dinner. Two meat platter with some fried ochra and coleslaw for seven bucks. Lone Star at $1.85 a bottle - God I love this place! Shared our cab with some Canadians who ended up footing the bill. God Bless Canada. I really recommend this place if you like the meat, however, as the staff were all friendly and did I mention the price of beer?

Went to see The Strokes, who I don't really like, but it was sold out (phew!). Went to BD Riley's on 6th for some beers, it was open mic. For someone in my posiiton, that is almost the kiss of death. But we were sitting in the back of the bar minding our business when we heard the name of the next performer - Wyckham Porteous, from Canada. I have a couple of Wyckham's albums and I really like them but he lost me a few years ago. It was weird to see a guy who I once really liked up there playing "Hungry Heart" by Bruce Springsteen to a crowd that didn't really get it (though it wasn't that great to begin with). I was a professional sound guy for 5 years and the first person I ever did sound for was Wyckham - funny how things change.

Went to Antone's to see Bob Schneider. It was ho-hum, and we left. But it was cool to see people of all ages pay $10 to see someone - anyone - on a Tuesday night.

Wednesday:

Got up at 11; went for lunch. In Austin, you pretty much have 2 choices - barbeque or Mexican, so we chose the latter. I had an excellent Ensalada con Pollo. Then we walked to some record stores and around the University of Texas. I took the Armadillo bus twice. Went to the Canadian party for an hour, before bolting to attend the audience-facilitated Q&A with the Beastie Boys.

The Lads were hilarious. It seemed as though they didn't want to be there, and they answered the questions with simple answers so as to say "we don't want to be here." But they made me laugh with lots of talk about Pampers, Prince, and their lawyers.

Tacos for dinner. Why is it that Canada is so open-minded except when it comes to where you can drink? People just want to have a beer while standing on the sidewalk, not break the law. You can do that here...

Quick drink at the Continental Club - best bar in town, really, except that drinks seem more expensive than they did a year ago. The band was called "Greyhound" - adequate at best.

Austin Music Awards - want to see Roky Erikson; he's on at 10:15. 10:00 comes and the act before him still hasn't started. Eventually we get fed up (fed up while watching Kris Krostofferson, mind you) and decide to header. SMS arrives - Flaming Lips are playing at the Frog and Something, or the Toad and Something, or the something and something. Hop a cab.

The Lips RIP THE BAG OFF THE PLACE! From the opening strains of "Bohemian Rhapsody" to the closing riffs of "War Pigs" with Peaches on lead vocals, it was a party and a half. There is supposed to be another surprise guest at 1:00, so we stick around. We suffer through the shittiest band I've ever seen to no avail. "Our special guest is a no-show." Motherfucker.

Head to Antone's one again, and K-OS is playing. He had brushed against me earlier this afternoon at the Canadian BBQ so I feel I have some cred. Except that after I see him play, I don't want it - he strikes me as a bit of a loo. Granted, a bit of a loo who is WAY richer than me, but still a complete egomaniac. Finish your drink, your $6 drink, we have to see Neil Young in the morning.

ps - For a guy with a $500 laminate around my neck, I seem to have a lot of stamps on my hand...

Here is a photo I took while driving home today. Granted, I shouldn't be taking pictures whlie driving, and much less doing so with my phone. I wasn't talking on it, I just had to pull it out of my pocket and flip it open - we were at a red light while I did all that.

Anyway.

Because it was taken with my crappy litte camera phone the detail is not so hot. But if you squint you'll see a Hummer driving beside a Smart Car. Two trendy cars, two completly different attitudes.

True Story:

One girl finds a roll up the rim to win cup. Another girls helps her roll it, and they win a Toyota worth $27,000. First girl's dad says "let's share the prize," while second girl's mum says "no way, it's ours." (At this point, the cup is in the posession of the first girl's family.) First girl's dad says "well, we were going to share but since you're so greedy we're not giving you anything."

My favourite part of the whole story is...well, okay, I have two favourite parts. The first is this:

But when the 12-year-old's mother, Nathalie Prevost, showed up, she said her family deserved to take the prize.

Prevost then called a local radio station to ask for legal advice, propelling the story into the media spotlight, said the Gazette.

So since when do you phone a RADIO STATION FOR LEGAL ADVICE YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER NIMROD?! Have you ever heard of the Law Line, or a friend who knows a lawyer? What the hell - "I think I need some legal advice in what could potentially net me as much as 30 Grand in cash...I know, I'll call the zany morning crew, Bob and Dan! They know a lot about fart jokes and sometimes give away trips to Mazatlan, so they'll probably have some pretty good insight into this question of property rights."

I'm SO glad that she's not getting any of the prize. It really does suck for her daughter, who probably stood to benefit from this stroke of pure luck before her mother made a complete balls-up of the situation.

My other favourite part: the story in the Winnipeg Free Press this morning said that the person who thought they might have been the one to throw the cup away in the first place was also considering legal action.

Maybe it was the zany morning crew, Bob and Dan, who suggested this person might have a snowball's chance in hell of making a case.

Okay, so this is not a blog about sports (though to say that would beg the question "What is it about?" which seems like dangerous territory. In any case, winter olympics, spring training, and the World Baseball Classic are some things that have been en tete lately.

With that in mind, please look at the following photo:

Pretty cool, eh? That's Team Canada, led by a pitcher who started last season in AA ball and is still trying to earn a place in the majors, and a second baseman named Stubby who plays in the independant Northern League for a team called the Edmonton Cracker Cats. Today they beat Team USA - led by an MVP pitcher who won 22 major league games last year and a few other names of note. I read today that they combined payroll of Team USA is somewhere around $90 million - and our kids beat 'em.

This is cool. And I don't mean Canada beating the US, but simply that we beat the guys who invented the game. I feel like how the Swedes must feel when they beat Canada at hockey. It's a game that we like, but in all reality it's theirs. For today though, it's ours too - just a little bit.

The LA Times says "Canada Hangs U.S. Out to Dry"

The Seattle Times says "Say, eh: Canada beats Team USA in World Baseball Classic"

The Miami Herald says "State of Disbelief"

Forgive me for harping on these things. I know baseball is America's game and we will get beat by them more times than we will win. But for today, please just let me have this one.

Thanks.

From the Minneapolis Star Tribune


Goodbye, Kirby
Joe Christensen, Star Tribune

Kirby Puckett
On the day Kirby Puckett retired from baseball, he tried reassuring everyone that the sadness of losing sight in his right eye wouldn't diminish the spirit fans had seen him show for 12 seasons in a Twins uniform.

"Kirby Puckett's going to be all right," he said in 1996. "Don't worry about me. I'll show up, and I'll have a smile on my face. The only thing I won't have is this uniform on. But you guys can have the memories of what I did when I did have it on."

On Monday, the sports world held those memories close as Puckett died in a Phoenix hospital, one day after suffering a massive stroke. He was 45.

"It's gut-wrenching," Twins President Dave St. Peter said. "We lost a dear friend. Really, somebody who in many ways was the foundation of this franchise for a long time."

Puckett rose from a Chicago housing project and became a Minnesota sports icon, bursting onto the scene in 1984 with an energetic style and an effervescent smile, each all his own.

He led the Twins to the World Series in 1987 and 1991, leaping into walls as their center fielder and swinging with a might that belied his stocky, 5-8 frame.

"This is a sad day for the Minnesota Twins, Major League Baseball and baseball fans everywhere," Twins owner Carl Pohlad said in a statement. "Eloise and I loved Kirby deeply. Kirby's impact on the Twins organization, the state of Minnesota and Upper Midwest is significant and goes well beyond his role in helping the Twins win two world championships."

Puckett often said he played every game as if it were his last, and sure enough, on March 28, 1996, he awoke with blurred vision in his right eye.

He never played again. He was diagnosed with glaucoma and retired on July 12, 1996.

For the next five years, Puckett remained a smiling fixture on the Minnesota scene, working as an executive vice president for the Twins in an ambassadorial role.

In 2001, he became a first-ballot inductee into the National Baseball Hall of Fame with 2,304 career hits, 10 All-Star selections and six Gold Glove Awards.

Not all was as well in Puckett's personal life. His seemingly impeccable image began to tarnish in 2002, as details emerged from divorce proceedings with his wife, Tonya Puckett, who alleged that he had abused her and threatened to kill her.

Puckett said it wasn't true, but allegations from other women soon followed. He relinquished most ties to the Twins, moved his permanent residence to Arizona and disappeared from the public view.

Meteoric rise

Puckett had been raised in the Robert Taylor Homes, a south Chicago housing project. He received no college scholarship offers, so he went to work after high school on an assembly line for Ford Motor Co.

"I never forgot where I came from," Puckett said when he was elected to the Hall of Fame.

The Twins drafted him in 1982, and he reached the big leagues on May 8, 1984. He celebrated his arrival by getting four hits against the California Angels.

Puckett lore piled up quickly in 1987, when he led the Twins in hits as they came back from a 3-2 deficit against the St. Louis Cardinals in the best-of-seven World Series and won their first championship. He now had unqualified success to go with his uninhibited style.

"A 7- or 8-year-old kid watching the game would pick him out, and he just looked different," sportscaster Bob Costas said. "He had an affection for the game, and there was a kind of energy about it that was fun.

"I'm sure he took it seriously. You have to take it seriously in order to be a great player, but there was nothing grim about the way he went about it."

In 1991, the Twins again found themselves trailing in the World Series three games to two, this time to Atlanta.

But Puckett went around telling teammates to hop on his back for Game 6, that he would carry them to victory. Then he delivered two signature moments.

First, he made a leaping catch against the Metrodome's outfield Plexiglas in the third inning and robbed Ron Gant of an extra-base hit, saving a run from scoring. Then, in the 11th inning, Puckett became the ninth player in major league history to win a World Series game with a home run, pumping his arms in celebration as he rounded the bases.

Sudden end

Puckett turned 36 during spring training in 1996 and continued to torment Grapefruit League pitching.

On March 27, he went 2-for-3 in a game against the Braves, raising his spring average to .344. The next day, Puckett woke up and couldn't see Tonya, though she was sitting right next to him.

Three laser surgeries later, Puckett knew he would never be able to see well enough to hit major league pitching again. His right retina had irreversible damage, caused by a blockage of blood vessels.

He arrived at his retirement news conference wearing his white No. 34 jersey. He also wore sunglasses covering the gauze patch over his right eye.

"It's the last time you're going to see Kirby Puckett in a Twins uniform," he said. "I want to tell you all that I love you all so much."

The room was packed with reporters and Twins players. Puckett gave another pep talk: "I want my young teammates to know right now -- when you put the uniform on, you put it on and you play with pride and integrity. The way that Kent Hrbek plays with it -- played with it. And Paul Molitor and Knobby [Chuck Knoblauch] and all you guys play with it. Just don't take it for granted because you never know. Tomorrow's not promised to any of us."

Fall from grace

When Puckett was elected to the Hall of Fame, on Jan. 17, 2001, he called it one of the proudest days of his life.

But the next year, as he and Tonya were involved in divorce proceedings, his life began to spiral downward.

In March 2002, Anne Potter filed an order for protection against Tonya Puckett, alleging that Tonya had threatened to kill her over an alleged affair with Kirby.

That month, a St. Louis Park woman asked for protection from Kirby Puckett, saying in court documents that she had an 18-year relationship with him and that he had shoved her in his Bloomington condominium.

Then, in September 2002, Puckett was involved with a woman in a very public incident at Redstone American Grill in Eden Prairie. That time, the woman accused Puckett of dragging her into a restaurant restroom and grabbing her breast.

After a nine-day trial, a jury ruled Puckett not guilty of false imprisonment, fifth-degree criminal sexual conduct and fifth-degree assault.

"I just want to go home," he said that day, when the verdicts were released.

He relinquished his role as Twins executive vice president. The team, which retired Puckett's jersey in 1997, tried maintaining ties to him, but he continued to withdraw.

When friends saw him, they grew increasingly concerned about the weight he was putting on his short frame, with estimates that he was well beyond 300 pounds.

But for those who saw him in Arizona at Harmon Killebrew's charity golf tournament in November, there was renewed hope. Puckett had spoken of taking better care of himself. Recently, there was news that he planned to remarry in June.

And there was always appreciation of him as a ballplayer and teammate.

"He made me a better coach," former Twins hitting coach Terry Crowley said. "He made Tom Kelly probably a better manager. He made the mediocre hitters on that team probably a little better. He was a pleasure. He really was."

Puckett would have turned 46 on March 14. He is survived by two children, Catherine and Kirby Jr., from his marriage to Tonya.

It snowed today - like, it really frickin' SNOWED! And I went out at rush hour, around 5, and the streets were chaotic. I've been here 2 years (well, less 2 days at the time of writing) and I am still at a loss to figure out how people can live in a city like Winnipeg and not understand winter.

Hello, people! Did y'all know that others refer to it as WINTERpeg? There's a reason for that, dude! So when you hear about an impeding snowstorm on the radio, in the paper, or on the net, you might want to plan ahead. Particularly as these prairie storms seem to come with a couple days warning. I mean, seriously. If you have the wherewithall to own and drive a motor vehicle, chances are you have access to a newspaper, radio, television, or computer. When they tell you a "major snowfall" is coming, why not get ready for it? I have assembled a list of things you might need to know in such a case.

1. The roads will be slippery. Your ability to both speed up and slow down is greatly reduced in a snowstorm. Drive at an appropriate speed.

2. Don't enter an intersection you won't be able to get out of (this also applies to dry road conditions, but seems to get worse in inclement weather). Just because the light is green doesn't mean go if it also means that you will end up blocking the traffic moving perpendicularly to you. in fact, the reason you're probably waiting so damned long is that another asshole at the next intersection has blocked it with the same idiot maneuver that you have just attempted.

3. Your horn doesn't make traffic move any more quickly. In fact, it makes me want to slow down even more just to piss you off.

4. You're in a car, but the people in the crosswalk a) have the legal right of way, and b) are putting up with way more out there in the cold than you are inside your car with the heat on. Let them cross, why don't you?

5. 4-wheel drive makes you go better.

5a. 4-wheel drive doesn't make you stop better. I know you're itching to use it since you bought that $40,000 SUV that you've never taken remotely close to "off road," but learn how it works first, please.

6. If you get stuck, don't spin your tires. I'm tired of digging you out.

It just now occurs to me that much of this applies year-round. However, drivers in Manitoba seem to be the worst I have ever encountered (and yes, I HAVE lived in France!). We also seem to have the worst bus drivers on the planet - do busses obey the same traffic laws in this province as in others?

Like my girlfriend says, "It might say 'Friendly Manitoba' on the license plates, but just try and cross the street!"