I caught you a delicious bass...

A really good word

2007-06-26T10:57:00.000-05:00

Today I read Paris Hilton described as a celebutard.

That's awesome.

Celebutard.

On Conservatives

2007-05-29T15:42:00.000-05:00

Here's a snippet from a conversation I overheard at the ball game yesterday; two older guys lamenting the Progressive Conservatives' finish in the recent Manitoba provincial election:

Dude 1 - I can't believe how many people voted NDP

Dude 2 - Yep, well, we just need some better candidates.

Dude 1 - Well, it's also all the immigrants. They're all left wingers.

Dude 2 - Yeah, take Fort Garry for instance. That place is really changing.

Now, I live in Fort Garry, and I RARELY see a person of colour wandering the neighbourhood. According to Wikipedia, Fort Garry has - gulp! - SIXTEEN PERCENT of its population immigrants. 5% of the population lists their ethnic origin as German.

The thing that made me laugh the most, though, was that neither one of the guys laid any blame on the fact that Hugh McFadyen is an idiot, or on that fact that "Bringing the Jets back" is a pretty dumb campaign promise to make.

Funniest. Strip. Ever.

2007-05-27T20:31:00.000-05:00

Pearls Before Swine is one of the best comic strips around. This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen:

A complicated conversion

2007-05-22T15:28:00.000-05:00

This has been bugging me for the better part of a week now. What is the ratio of Stanleynickels to Schrutebucks?

Also, with the Fish off to a 1-4 record, things look somewhat bleak for the home opener on Friday.
- the bullpen seems to be sucking
- the team BA is less than .200
- Lentini has been out 2 games.

Hopefully the baseball gods can figure this out before the end of the working week.

Stupid temp, ruined my theory!

2007-05-18T15:42:00.001-05:00

Wow - I was wrong.

Your loneliness is killing me...

2007-05-16T12:18:00.000-05:00

You know when people on the bus have really bad headphones that let a lot of the sound out so you get subjected to whatever it is that they're listening to? This morning I was riding to work and while we were stopped at a light, I heard the tell-tale sounds of Britney Spears emanating through the bus.

I had to turn around to see who it was that could be listening to "Hit me baby one more time" at such a loud volume and expected to see a tween-ager bopping along. However, to my surprise it was a man seemingly in his late 40s. At the next light as the noise of the bus disappeared, I heard it again except that this time it was accompanied by the sound of the dude singing along! I looked again and he was TOTALLY into it! tapping his feet, a little air-drumming, and that sort of whispery, half-audible singing you do when you're wearing a walkman.

I give the guy credit - you have to have a lot of balls to get *that* into such an album and not give a shit who knows it.

Late in the day update:

I got on the bus to come home this afternoon and found the only open seat. Right behind me was a woman talking on a celphone and here's the first thing I heard her say: I have no idea what to play for those kids. Kevin said to bring Britney Spears, but I think they want to hear Sesame Street.

Man, that's weird.

More on my theory

2007-05-11T10:49:00.000-05:00

Karen is totally going to get the job, and she is out of the picture except as a guest star. The angst continues between Jim & Pam, but eventually they get together. Like Ross & Rachel - it won't last, but will provide lots of fodder for future adventures.

Things to ponder over the weekend...

2007-05-05T00:15:00.000-05:00

1. Why don't people care about good ideas? Yet shows like Finger Eleven sell out in much bigger venues.

2. Is "midnight madness" really a cultural event?

3. It's important for people to know that as good a show as the BBC "The Office" was, the American version is fan-fucking-tastic. I've seen a few episodes from the first two seasons, and all of season 3, and I gotta say this: the Jim/Pam thing doesn't seem to mirror the Tim/Dawn thing AT ALL. You wanted to see Dawn come around, but I think Karen is much better for Jim than Pam is anyway. Here's my prediction for the season finale...when Karen, Jim, & Michael all compete for the same job at Corporate, Karen will get it. She'll move to NYC and it will provide another season's worth of angst as she no longer lives in the same city as Jim. Their relationship will hit the rocks, and Pam will continue to pine for Jim. But it won't go anywhere unless the ratings dip, when they can get Jim & Pam together and end the series. Ain't that right Big Tuna?

4. How's this for a blockbuster: Varitek, Utley, O. Cabrera & Zambrano for Morneau, K. Greene, Francoeur, and Dice-K? I just can't wait for Zee to get his ERA down below 5-ish. A Sock for a Sock, that's what I always say...

5. I am totally going to a pile of baseball games starting next week.

On blood vs. ketchup...

2007-04-28T19:17:00.000-05:00

An open letter to anyone who cares whether Curt Schilling was really bleeding or not back in the 2004 ALCS:

Sox 4 - Yankees 3

Sox 4 - Cardinals 0

Who cares? Go bitch about something useful, like Barry Bonds and BALCO.

All our love,

Red Sox Nation.

Sorry 'bout the nerdlieness...

2007-04-28T18:59:00.000-05:00

Mostly these days I think about baseball. My roto league and the Northern League (picked up the season tickets today...that's what I call EXCITING!) take up a lot of my brain time.

There is, however, a provincial election coming up. All the parties seem to be talking about getting tough on crime - here's what bothers me: if we already have more cops per capita than most (any?) other city in Canada, and crime is still a problem, shouldn't we start thinking about hiring better cops rather than more cops? I'd like to vote for the party that says they're going to come out and hire smarter cops.

Also, last time I checked, the Criminal Code was a federal matter. So please, Messrs. Politiques, pray tell me what the #$%^ y'all could do about crime even if you wanted to? If someone wants to oust the NDP, they're going to have to come up with a better reason than Mr. Doer is "soft on crime."

Yes, I love technology...not as much as you you see...but I still love technology...always and forever...always and forever...

2007-04-24T22:08:00.000-05:00

I subscribed to MLB TV this year, and now I can watch any game from anywhere with an internet connection. I love this interweb thingy.

FYI, that's a RETARDED amount of baseball.

Life is skittles and life is beer...

2007-04-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

It's lovely outside now - like in the +20s. At that time where we can actually stop using the word "plus" to describe the temperature. With that comes more poeple people outside. Last night outside my place of employment there was a fire in a dumpster. Actually it was a fire beside a dumpster, but nonetheless.

My co-worker called 911 and the firefighters who came to put it out said that it was their fourth call of the night, and it was not yet even 10:00 pm. It was a bunch of kids that did it - people saw them take off. They left a bike behind, and I have to admit I was amazed at the balls on the kids, who marched right back to the scene to retrieve for the bike while the firefighters were still there!

There were 4 of them, ranging in ages from about 6 to about 11. At first I was mad at the little pricks for doing it. Then I wondered "why are 6 year old kids out lighting fires at 10 pm?" I can think of 2 reasons, both of which made me more sad than angry. One is because their parents are at work trying to support them, and the other is that thir parents don't give a shit about them. Either way, it's really crappy.

I have the whole weekend off and I am pleased about that. My baseball pool is in the proverbial toilet, which I am not so happy about. Hockey playoffs are underway, which I am completely indifferent about.

So It Goes

2007-04-12T02:21:00.000-05:00

Mr. Vonnegut is gone. Goodnight sir, I will miss you dearly. As will Leon Trotsky Trout, Eugene Debs Hartke, Billy Pilgrim, Eliot Rosewater, and Dwayne Hoover. Phillip Farmer might. Rudy Waltz still feels guilty about it.

Thanks Kurt.

This is for the Rheostatics. We're all richer for having seen them tonight.

2007-04-01T02:20:00.000-05:00

What do you have to do to get someone somewhere on the goddamn internet to post a Rheostatics setlist from the March 30 2007 Massey Hall show?

Thanks for the memories, Dave, Tim, Martin, and Michael/Don/Dave (and even Steve, who filled in for a weekend in 2002).

The Rheostatics are now things (kings?) of the past. As Mr. Bidini wrote to me the other day, "thoughts turn to opening day." Damn right they do, but who will sing the anthem?

The Draft...

2007-03-26T14:48:00.000-05:00

Could have been better, could have been a lot worse...

Pitchers:

Zambrano CWS
Mussina NYY
Burnett TOR
Beckett BOS
Kenny Rogers DET (can he do it again?)
Putz SEA
Isringhausen STL
Zumaya DET

Position Players:

C Pierzynski CWS
C Varitek BOS
1B Delgado NYM
2B Utley PHI
2B Barfield CLE
3B Atkins COL
SS Guillen DET
SS Cabrera LAA

LF Podsednik CWS
LF White MIN
LF/RF Choo CLE
LF/RF Hart MIL
CF Hunter MIN
CF Duffy PIT
RF Drew BOS

Some random musical thoughts...

2007-03-20T23:28:00.000-05:00

This was a myspace thing but it will serve nicely to boost my post-count here since I've gotten grief for that lately.

1. Of all the bands & artists in your collection, which one do you own the most albums?
Either Steve Earle or Tom Waits - I'm too lazy to go look. No wait, it's definitely The Clash.

2. What was the last song you listened to?
Something I don't know the title of by violin virtuoso Vasyl Papadiuk.

3. What's in your CD player right now?
Butane Fumes and Bad Cologne by Big Rude Jake

4. What are your favorite instruments?
Tuned ones.

5. Who's your favorite local artists/bands?
I don't pick local favourites. Novillero? Anthem Red?

6. What was the last show you attended?
Kings of Leon, Spoon, & the Stooges at Stubb's. But I started the night at Emo's watching the Buzzcocks.

7. What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
The Pogues & Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Bourges France
The Pogues & Joe Strummer, Vancouver
Jane's Addiction, the Pixies, Primus, Vancouver
Lollapalooza 1991, Enumclaw Washington
Peter Gabriel, Montreal

8. What's the worst band you've ever seen in concert?
I've seen so many bad bands I couldn't single one out. Although Badly Drawn Boy was pretty awful lately.

9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
No idea.

10. What is the most musically involved you have ever been?
I've done some musical stuff, yes, as a player and a soundguy and a promoter.

11. What show are you looking forward to?
Dan Bern April 29.

12. What is your favorite band shirt?
My Police Synchronicity shirt (RIP) - the first one I ever owned. Also my Nirvana Fudge Packer shirt (also RIP). Wore those bastards into submission.

13. What musicians would you like to hang out with for a day?
I wouldn't like to hang out with any musicians for a day. In fact, I'd like to go a day without hanging out with musicians.

14. What musicians would you like to be in love with you for a day?
Vanessa Paradis.

15. What was your last musical "phase" before you wizened up?
My "I don't like rap" phase.

16. Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
Sabbath.

17. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
I prefer the term "socially awkward."

18. What was the greatest decade for music?
I'd have to do some math to figure that out, but no decade is perfect or imperfect. the 1960s were pretty cool though for their mixture of garage rock, bubblegum, and soul.

19. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
High Fidelity, because the 13th Floor Elevators is such a good kickoff.

20. Where would you be without music?
A Customs agent in Vancouver.

21. Have you ever had sex while listening to a band live?
No, but I saw people having sex at a Bon Jovi concert.

22. Who is your favourite artist who is much better live than in a recording?
No idea yet again - too many to choose from.

23. Do you have a hidden desire to be a popular musician?
I just have a hidden desire to be popular.

24. Mp3s or jail time?
Since I live in Canada, I don't see how the two can be compared.

25. Have you ever fallen in love at a concert?
Lucinda.

26. Do you think people look sexy all sweaty from dancing?
I think sexy looking people still look sexy when they're all sweaty from dancing. Ugly people, well they just stay ugly.

27. Ever been injured in a mosh pit?
Only temporarily.

28. Have you ever used a body part as an instrument?
Skin flute?

29. Have you ever used drugs to enhance the music experience?
I don't really find drugs enhance much except my natural paranoia.

30. What was the last song you heard that gave you a chill, in any context?
Highway Patrolman by The Boss

Much Nothing About Ado

2007-03-20T16:35:00.000-05:00

I recently got chastised for not updating. I just came home from Texas and my annual South By Southwest jaunt. As Pitchfork put it, it's basically "a million bands, two million industry mongrels, three million gallons of free booze, a couple evangelicals, and a few dozen kids handing out complimentary condoms." I will post a full report when my liver returns to its normal size.

In other news:

Baseball drafts this weekend.

I wish someone would run over Mirna and Shmirna.

Go Jayhawks.

Random thoughts

2007-02-18T20:51:00.001-06:00

Fresh IE cannot spell. I really think spelling counts, and I hope God does too. It would really make me laugh if Mr. IE (can I call you "Fresh"?) spent his whole life ministering and dominating his wife just like the good book says, and then he got to the pearly gates and St. Peter said "Sorry, no room for bad spellers. They'll see you downstairs."

I recently learned how to take pictured of my screen. It could be habit-forming.

If you really look closely, you can tell what kind of computer I have at home, and what kind of computer I have at work.

If a gyroball is impossible to hit, how difficult is it to catch one?

Praise the Lord

2007-02-15T16:48:00.000-06:00

Today one of my co-workers was looking for info on a Winnipeg rapper named Fresh IE. he has been twice nominated for a Grammy award, but this is awesome. Check out his dope gansta look and then read what he has to say. This shit is wack!

Borat makes me laugh

2007-02-03T12:08:00.000-06:00

That was really funny. Then it turns out that Mr. Broadwater didn't find that so funny. In fact, he said, "The Bible says, "Silence the mocker and strife will cease," and this stunt pulled by HBO is just one more reason why I believe that the liberal, anti-God media needs to be brought under the strict control of the FCC, and that as soon as possible."

So I looked at his website to see if there were any updates. here's what it looks like. Fuck that's funny...

An infinite number of monkeys...

2007-01-18T08:56:00.000-06:00

It's pretty funny and all, and this is not a complaint about excessive email, but I'm about ready for people to NOT email me anymore links to the youtube video about spiders on drugs.

Nice work if you can get it

2007-01-12T17:07:00.000-06:00

David Beckham is coming to America to play the footie. According to the reports he will make somewhere around $250 Million over 5 years between his salary, bonuses, team endorsements, and so on.

That's basically a million dollars a week.

"How was I supposed to know there was some guy named Joe Vigilante?"

2007-01-10T23:07:00.000-06:00

This really made me freak out in the last couple of days. A drug dealing rent-a-cop, along with his boss, beat the living shit out of a car thief with a baseball bat and left him in handcuffs. Now, at the time, the dude with the bat didn't know the other guy was a thief - it was just a case of road rage as he beat some stranger with a bat. However, since it has come out that the guy who got whacked was a bit of a scumbag, the security guard is turning into a hero to readers of one of this fair city's dailies. Check it out here. It's fucked.

Things I learned on my winter vacation

2007-01-03T15:46:00.000-06:00

- In the olden days, when they showed a movie on the plane it was “edited for airline viewing.” I saw the movie “Rain Man” years ago and they cut out the whole scene at the airport where Dustin Hoffman refuses to get on a plane other than Quantas, telling Tom Cruise that Quantas is the only airline that had never crashed (mental note: is this true? must find out). Nowadays, you can watch live TV in your seat. So now you can sit on a Westjet from Winnipeg to Vancouver and watch a special all about the September 11th hijackings. Those towers must've come down a dozen times on that little screen in front of me! I don't wish to bring up bad memories or speak ill of the departed, but I thought it was AWESOME that I could watch that on a plane.

- There are a lot of pretty cool old building on Vancouver Island. A lot of them host Narcotics Anonymous meetings...what's up with that? I guess I shouldn't say “a lot” but I'm talking two out of two, which seems like a lot when you think about it proportionately. Seriously – one was the train station in Courtenay, which has traffic through it 7 days a week, and is a cool old building with photos of railways all over North America, old brochures, those cool wooden benches that you see in all train stations, and the twelve steps of NA posted on the wall. Another one was an old one-room school house in a tiny town further up the Island. Its walls proudly displayed the history of the building and of the Mennonite farmers who settled the area with farms and churches, portraits of the Queen and Prince Phillip, information about the local chapter of the Old Age Pensioners Association, and the twelve steps of NA. Now, We all know about how the kids love their BC Bud, but apparently the seniors out here in Lotusland really like the smack!

- Saddam Hussein and James Brown are dead! You can really miss stuff when you're on vacation and not reading the newspaper or listening to the CBC on a regular basis. I guess Winnipeg is also covered in a thousand feet of snow – I didn't catch that one right away. I guess a snowstorm is not such a big deal, but 2 years ago I didn't learn about the Tsunami disaster until almost a week after it happened.

- A person's balls can climb pretty high up when their owner jumps into the ocean on New Years Day.

- I'm too old to stay at people's houses if they don't have a spare room or guest bed.

Brain or no brain?

2006-12-04T21:48:00.000-06:00

I watched "Deal or No Deal" today and I gotta say that while I've seen some lame game shows over the years (The Mad Dash, Supermarket Sweep, Wheel of Fortune) I've never seen one that SO glorified people's complete lack of smarts. I'm a Jeopardy snob, sue me. However, this show, which is supposedly one of the highest ranked programs on TV, requires people to do the following in order to win money:

Pick numbers held up by supermodels

Seriously, it's that brainless. At least on The Price is Right you are required to know a little bit about gum, or cleaning products, or snack foods. On Deal or No Deal, as long as you can figure out how to choose some numbers, you can win some cash. We already have that - it's called THE LOTTO 6/49. Except that you have 49 numbers to pick from, whereas on TV you only have 24 or something like that.

So essentially, we've taken playing the 6/49, dumbed it down a bit, and put it on the air. And people are lined up around the fucking block to watch it. That astounds me.

Oh, and before I forget, the lady who was on tonight and who I guess will be on again tomorrow, told Howie Mandel that between her work and school and the kids' football games and practices, the only family time they've had in the past year was spent watching this show. Then she got all choked up and started crying. I wanted to barf, and then I wanted to punch her in the mouth for being so lame. Then I wanted to punch Howie Mandel in the mouth, but I've always sort of wanted to do that.

I guess it depends on your presepctive

2006-12-03T23:30:00.000-06:00

I get mad sometimes that hockey (a REALLY dumb sport) goes on so long...too long...but right now it's the beginning of December and pitchers and catchers report in UNDER two-and-a-half months.

That's kick-fucking-ass.

I'm not complaining, but I certainly would be if they NEVER came by...

2006-11-29T23:04:00.000-06:00

We finally got a big dump of snow yesterday. Immediately there were snowplows out on the street, clearing paths even while the white stuff was still pouring out of the heavens. But now, sitting in my living room tonight, I swear I have heard about 12 plows go by. Jeeze, I hope they're just on their way somewhere - my street is all taken care of, thanks.

I just don't get it.

When you want to rant but someone beats you to it...

2006-11-28T21:28:00.000-06:00

...you should just point folks in that direction. As such, please read this most excellent holiday story from the good people over at Tear It Down. I was going to rail about this yesterday but then I read what Mike had to say and he had summed it up rather nicely.

RIP Robert Altman

2006-11-21T20:51:00.000-06:00

I really liked Popeye, MASH, The Player, and Nashville. Steady on, Mr. Altman.

My kind of town

2006-11-14T22:23:00.000-06:00

I just spent a few days in Chicago. It was a pretty amazing city and since two of my favourite movies of all time take place there, it was an all-the-more special experience.

However, being in the USA is always a little bit of a wake-up call. Even though we are so much the same, every time I go south of the 49th (or west of the 141st) I am reminded of just how different we are. I started compiling a list of all the things I saw that were ridiculously different and thought I'd document them here, but in the end I decided not to. Rather, I thought I'd just relate two funny things that were said by a policeman in a bar. I admit I was eavesdropping, but come on, it was a POLICEMAN, in a BAR!

1. On the war in Iraq - "...and if we pull out now, what about all the people who died over there? It's all wasted! All for nothing! What about 9-11 and the twin towers and all that?"

2. On anti-war protesters - "all the chicken hawks and pedophile chasers and thieves..."

I also got to do some Native Aping which is one of my favourite things. Even better was when someone asked me for directions on the street, and even better than that was when I actually knew what they were looking for. Still better than that was when it happened a second time. I could SO live in Chicago.

I also got to add 2 ballparks top the list of places I have seen and even touched (though have yet to witness a game at).

Precision Electronics from Apple...

2006-11-04T23:51:00.000-06:00

I own an iBook G4 which I like very much - big fan of Apple. I also own a 4th generation 20 gig iPod. The computer works very well, but sometimes the MP3 player breaks down. When it does, there is simply nothing you can do to revive it. None of the fixes from Apple work since I can't actually get the thing to appear in my computer in the first place.

So I did some research on line. It turns out lots of people have this same problem, always accompanied by a "1418 error" message. There's no explanation of what a 1418 error is, but it seems that finally, millions of pissed off people was enough to get Apple to finally publish a fix for the Nano, or the Mini, or some other iPod which I don't own. And they published it for Windows users. But nothing for OS X users of 20 gig iPods, so I'm still screwed.

Then I found The Whack-A-Mole theory. Apparently it is the only salvation for people like me, and I ain't alone out there. And, it works.

It costs more to fix an iPod than it does to buy a new one - Aldous Huxley would be proud. However, ending may be better than mending, but shitkicking seems to be the most effective in terms of both immediate results and financial investment.

The satsifaction I derived from beating the shit out of my iPod today, after three hours of trying to find fixes for it, was simply unquantifiable. The fact that said beating actually made the thing come back to life was just a bonus.

Halloween

2006-10-31T14:55:00.000-06:00

When I was 8 years old I lived in England. At Halloween they carved turnips to make Jack-o-lanterns. I thought that was weird.

Aside to any beauty queens out there - England is where London is.

Life is hard

2006-10-24T01:35:00.000-05:00

So the election is upon us, and the whole city has been caught up in the desire to fix the roads. I think roads are a pretty good example of the "Winnipeg - Don't set your sights too high" ethic of this town, but never better exemplified than here:

Wow - talk about rush hour! And he's right, it's UNACCEPTABLE! Also, what the fuck is that thing hanging off his coat?

Karaoke Dreams

2006-10-17T02:29:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wish shit like this happened to me...

Howie day

SA-WING, BATTAH!

2006-10-14T23:17:00.000-05:00

Who doesn't like to see a team advance by a walk-off homer? Better yet, who doesn't like to see the A's get swept by a walk-off homer?

Who's Next?

2006-10-11T15:56:00.000-05:00

(with all apologies to Tom Lehrer)

It just occured to me while I was reading about North Korea of how good a thing it was that the US invaded Iraq because Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and might use them.

Buck O'Neil: 1911 - 2006

2006-10-08T16:29:00.000-05:00

"Shed no tears for Buck. I couldn't attend Sarasota High School. That hurt. I couldn't attend the University of Florida. That hurt. But not going into the Hall of Fame, that ain't going to hurt me that much, no. Before, I wouldn't even have a chance. But this time I had that chance. Just keep loving old Buck."

- John Jordan "Buck" O'Neil

Anyone know the Heimlich? New York needs one BAD!

2006-10-07T21:16:00.000-05:00

plus

equals

May the best man win...

2006-10-05T20:20:00.000-05:00

The New York Yankees have paid almost $199,000,000 for their roster this year. That's ONE HUNDRED NINETY-NINE MILLION DOLLARS. Not too bad, when you consider that they are in hot pursuit of a 27th World Series title. What easier way to get it than to buy it?

Here are the payrolls of the other seven teams currently in contention (in millions):
- New York Mets $100.9
- Los Angeles Dodgers $99.1
- St. Louis Cardinals $86.9
- Detroit Tigers $82.3
- San Diego Padres $68.9
- Minnesota Twins $63.8
- Oakland As $62.3

The Yankees are rich, no doubt about it. In fact, the highest-paid three players on the team, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, and Jason Giambi make between them $66.6 Million. Yes, that's three dudes who make MORE than the entire Oakland As or Minnesota Twins organizations! Add in the next highest guy, Mike Mussina at a paltry $19M, and you're up to $85.6 mil, eclipsing the rosters of both San Diego and Detroit. However, you'd need to take a teeny bit of Randy Johnson's cash in order to reach St. Louis, but with his $15.6M you'd sail past the Cards, Dodgers, and Mets.

So you have A-Rod, Kid Roctober, the Giambino, Moose, and the Big Unit - five guys who make more than most other baseball teams. The Yankees are not a baseball team, they are a bank. It's like Mr. Burns hiring all those ringers to play against the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant.

Anyway, if they win the World Series then they can be content that it's been worth it. And all the New Yorkers like Spike Lee, Denzel Washington, Billy Crystal, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump can go on about how the greatest sporting spirit ever lives in the Bronx and stay blissfully ignorant of the real world. And by that I mean the real sports world, so I'm still stretching reality quite a bit.

Anyway, today they lost to the poor lowly Tigers (who finished the season with two fewer wins than they did). It's looking more likely that if they beat Detroit they'll face Oakland (4 fewer wins) in the next round, but a miracle might save the Twins (1 fewer win).

Consider it money well spent, boys. Oh, and try not to CHOKE on it...

Fall has arrived

2006-09-11T00:29:00.000-05:00

The minor league baseball season is now over for me. I guess I'll turn my attention to the majors now - and who will win the AL Wild Card. Also there will be plenty of rock shows, reality TV, and other mindless pursuits.

Also some time devoted to two new topics of interest to me: why some people think that organic farming is going to cause starvation around the world, and why people in this town are obsessed with vehicles.

The former has peaked me because I have taken to eating more and more food that is produced without pesticides. I have experimented with a few different things and I have found that it's actually pretty easy to eat well for not much more money than one would normally spend, but to buy things that contribute less to the destruction of the natural world. That, and it mostly tastes better. However, there are people who just think that it's wrong to do that, and that amazes me.

The latter is because people in Winnipeg are not only the worst drivers on Earth, but they insist on feeling superior to people who choose human-powered forms of transportation. While I drive a vehicle with a less-than-stellar fuel economy, I also like to walk and to ride a bike. I have had some close calls lately with cars while on foot and on two wheels, and it really pisses me off.

Last night we were almost run over in a crosswalk (again!) and the people in the offending car had the audacity to scream at us for being in the "wrong place." Something needs to be done about this, something needs to be done...

Also, it has been five years and two wars since planes flew into the World Trade Center. Are we safer now? Somehow I don't feel that way. Weird.

What a prick!

2006-09-01T00:55:00.000-05:00

Do you ever get in on-line arguments? Last week on a board I frequent I finally got sick of this guy and told him exactly what I thought of him. There were some sparks, and some choice words exchanged, and ultimately we both feel we've won. Now I can't wait to keep picking on him. Because he's a 'Tard.

Pennant Races

2006-08-19T17:59:00.000-05:00

Minor League baseball is fun. Right now the Goldeyes are in a position to win a wild card playoff spot, and even though they are a bunch of has-beens and never-weres, the games are all meaningful and it's a really exciting time to be a ball fan. And the seaosn ends in plenty of time to get excited by what the major leagues are doing.

Middle East Crisis

2006-08-15T23:23:00.000-05:00

Things are fucked up in the Middle East. Apparently it's okay for one state to attack another, depending on whom you count as your allies.

Israel's record at the UN

This guy has some serious shit going on. Interesting that this was taken from Sky News, Rupert Murdoch's equivalent of Fox News in the UK.

Must Love Cusack

2006-07-17T12:56:00.000-05:00

John Cusack is my hero. Or at least, a lot of the characters he plays are the kinds of people I think should be my hero. Lloyd Dobbler, for example, is one of the best movie characters ever because he was so much like me. I would really like to be like Roy Dillon in the Grifters, and as well like Martin Blank in Gross Pointe Blank, and like Rob Gordon in High Fidelity.

He was also in lots of movies like Eight Men Out and Broadcast News and Tapeheads and Being John Malkovich that were really great. He was in some mediocre movies that became good when he was in them, like Con Air and Runaway Jury. He was in Bullets Over Broadway, where he got to be the Woody Allen part that Woody realized he was just too damn old to play (for once). Lots of old movies - old as in "when I was a kid" - have him, like Sixteen Candles, Grandview USA (C Thomas Howell & Jamie Lee Curtis making out on a demo derby car!), The Sure Thing, and the best teen movie EVER, Better Off Dead.

What can I say - I love his work and his characters. I have, however, always been a bit cautious around the sappier end of the spectrum - like for example I never saw America's Sweethearts. My hatred of Julia Roberts far outweighs my admiration of Mr. Cusack. Here's where it gets interesting. Last Friday we were at the video store looking for something crappy that we could put on and not have to bother paying attention to. We rented "Must Love Dogs" with him and Diane Laine.

This movie was SO bad...it was a huge pile of dogshit! How big was it? It was big it had little turds orbiting around it! Should I have expected something better? Perhaps not. But it takes something extra special to get me to shut off a movie. Usually I will just fall asleep in the middle of it and not bother going back to see what I missed. With this steaming heap I couldn't even bare to waste the electricity that it took to run the computer on which we were viewing it.

What posseses a guy with seemingly impeccable taste to make such a crappy movie? I can't hold it against him because I have been thrilled with almost all of his work - ever - but it really begs the question as to why he would do this.

If I were a famous actor I think I would have 2 bank accounts. Into one I would put all the money from my good films, and used it for regular living expenses. You know, car payments, groceries, smokes, the Visa bill, and so on. Into the other I would put all the money I made from shitty movies like Must Love Dogs (and presumably America's Sweethearts). The money in that account would only be used for special things like home renovations and expensive vacations. That way I could justify my appearances in those substandard pieces of crap with very tangible results ("I had to make out with Horseface Roberts to get this deck built, but the view of the ocean really makes me think it was worth it" "I had to put everything I believe in aside and pretend that a movie about internet dating was a good idea for a couple of months, but the 6 weeks I spent cycling around Cuba sure was worth it.")

Overheard at the Festival

2006-07-14T13:57:00.000-05:00

I forgot to report on this conversation I heard among two young-ish people at the Folk Festival last weekend. It's not an exact transcription, but it's pretty close. I gave them names for the purposes of the story; it's likely that they may be called something other than what I have christened them.

Clue Less: When are the Weakerthans playing?

Re Tard: They're not playing this year.

CL: What? Why not.

RT: Because they signed with Epitaph.

CL: What? Epitaph?

RT: Yeah, they signed with Epitaph so now they're "too good" to play for Winnipeg.

Note to CL and RT, if you are going to talk shit about someone it's a good idea to make sure ahead of time that you have a slight inkling of just what the fuck you're talking about. To wit:

1. Bands don't "decide" to play festivals, they get invited. Well, maybe Solomon Burke "decides" he'd like to roll his Jabba-the-Hut ass on over to Winnipeg, but most bands are selected by the festival's Artistic Director. This is a minor point and not the focus of my rant here, but an important tone-setter nonetheless.

2. The Weakerthans played the festival for the first time in 2005.

3. The Weakerthans' first Epitaph release, Reconstruction Site, came out in 2003 (Epitaph 86682 if you're really that interested). Do a little math and see if them being on Epitaph has ANYthing to do with their presence at or not at the Winnipeg Folk Festival.

4. The Weakerthans will play the Walker Theatre in Winnipeg on Saturday Sept 16 (although I'll be at the West End Cultural Centre that night watching Mikey Dread).

5. Two Dollars from the sale of every ticket from this concert wil be donated to Resource Assistance for Youth, an outreach organization in Winnipeg that helps street kids.

So to sum up:

You're both fucking idiots. If you want to judge someone's character, do it based on their words and actions. Much like how I'm judging you right now.

How much money have you raised for charity lately?

Wicked Funny

2006-07-14T13:19:00.000-05:00

Clerks 2 is opening soon. At the time it comes out I will be in a place with no movie theatres. Oh well, a reason to come back from vacation I guess. Looking forward to seeing some mountains.

I recently dicovered this blog called Tear It Down. It's pretty funny - give it a read. I really like the piece he did on mullets in Saskatchewan.

Anyway, I think this is going to be a great movie.

The Winnipeg Folk festival

2006-07-10T14:24:00.000-05:00

I went to the Folk Festival this past weekend - it was good. While I usually dig on the day stages and don't pay so much mind to the evening stuff, this year was different. I liked the evening stuff - sitting in my chair and relaxing, I was even called an "old codger" by one colleague (herself almost 20 years my senior).

Things I liked this year:

- Steve Earle - as feisty as ever. I like how he conitunes to READ NEWSPAPERS and to be aware of the world around him. I also like the "what the fuck is your problem" face he makes whenever someone yells out "Copperhead Road" as they invariably do. I really like seeing him solo, because songs like "My Old Friend The Blues" and "Rich Man's War" sound best that way. "Tanneytown" sounds good however it's played.

- Alejandro Escovedo - he doesn't play castanets, but he works without a net. After a prolonged illness, it's great t see him back despite the fact that he and his band were apparently involved in a car accident somewhere between town and the festival site. Despite that scare, he rocked the town right upside down.

- Neko Case - never sounded better. Her band just gets better and better: the core of Jon Rauhouse and Tom V. ray on steel/banjo and upright bass respectively, plus more recent additions Paul Rigby on guitar and Barry Mirochnik on drums all made a perfect place for Neko and the velvet-voiced Kelly Hogan to belt out everything you want to hear (except my fave, "Thrice All American"). Note to Neko - "The Tigers Have Spoken" is one of the saddest songs ever, and it makes me think about how much I like my dog.

- The Refugee All Stars of Sierra Leone - turning misery into joy. I had read of these guys before seeing them, but knew nothing of their music. More reggae than I expected, but lots of fun.

- Richard Thompson - Vincent Black Lightning 1952. Say no more.

On the day stages, I managed to see some great stuff as well, including one of my favourite bands Son Volt, spoken word artists TOFU, wierdo genius That 1 Guy, bluegrass daredevils Crooked Still, Texan swingers the South Austin Jug Band, and oh my lord, the Grande Mothers - Roy Estrada & Don Preston, original members of the Mothers of Invention, along with later-addition Napoleon Murphy Brock. played nothing but Zappa tunes - including "Let's make the Water Turn Black" from my favourite album, "We're Only IN It For The Money." THAT was a treat.

Highway of Tears

2006-07-02T09:56:00.000-05:00

Once in a while you open a newspaper and something you didn't expect just freaks you out a little bit. This morning I did just that when I saw a picture of my friend Nicole Hoar, and I realized it's been 4 years since she disappeared on what has been dubbed BC's "Highway of Tears" while hitchiking back to her tree-planting job. Most of us have probably heard about the stretch of road in BC where at least 11 women - perhaps many more - have gone missing in the last 30 years.

Nicole and I weren't the BEST of friends, but we were good pals for a couple of summers. We went on a few hiking trips, sang a few karaoke tunes, and even went on one memorable canoe trip where we dumped the boat. We recovered, and quite excitedly got back to camp to tell our colleagues of the adversity we had conquered, only to find out that while we had been bailing our canoe our camp-mates had come face to face with a rather large black bear. Kind of took the wind out of our sails.

So that was the nature of my relationship with Nicole. Buddies for a couple of summers, and then out of touch until she disappeared. Still out of touch I guess. It's weird when you have a personal connection to a major news story. I wish that the one I have was more of a feel-good than a tragedy.

There is more information on this at www.highwayoftears.ca. And of course, any information on my friend Nicole, or any of the other women lost on that road should be directed to the RCMP or Crimestoppers.

See ya, Nic.

Cops vs. Bikes in Winnipeg

2006-06-02T15:59:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think the young'uns are a little overzealous, and I don't think that Critical Mass should be used for things like protesting military exercises in our fair city. I do, however, think that motorists need to give their heads a shake and realize that bikes are a legit form of transport and that Winnipeg is WAY too into car culture to be healthy.

All that being said, I don't think cops should beat people up just for riding bikes. Nor do I think we need to send undercover cops out to beat the shit out of harmless little anarchists.

Click here for a little video from Dada World Data about what it looked like last Friday.

One more about Leon

2006-05-26T21:31:00.000-05:00

In a follow up to the Fullerton-Schaumberg trade involving Nigel Thatch and a pallet of beer, the guy has refused to show up for spring training because - much like his TV character - he is demanding more money than the standard rookie contract offered in the Golden Baseball League.

Pretty strong words for a guy who's pro record in 7 starts was 0-3 with a 10.22 ERA. The best part is that "the league may seek to void the trade and request that Schaumburg return the beer" according to Our Sports Central.

Gandhi At The Bat

2006-05-21T11:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday there were three ceremonial first pitches thrown out. One was from a Boston Pizza guy, as they were the game sponsor. Then Ben Kingsley and Bill Pullman each threw one. They are in town shooting a movie.

I think they should have introduced him as "the Mahatma" because no matter what he does for the rest of his life, he'll always be Gandhi to me.

Wanna buy a house?

2006-05-18T13:18:00.000-05:00

Being a property owner stinks when you're not IN the property you own.

I Just Ain't Gettin' It

2006-05-12T11:19:00.000-05:00

I just don't dig on hockey. I used to like it 10 years ago, but I lost interest in it somewhere along the way. Somehow this makes me seem un-Canadian.

Maybe it's just NHL hockey I have no time for. I still kind of like watching the World Juniors and the Olympics. I'd say it's because I dislike the idea of supporting all those spoiled millionaires, but I'm a baseball fan, so that idea doesn't really wash. Oh well.

Best Trade Ever

2006-05-04T12:05:00.000-05:00

Northern League Transactions - 05/01/2006

Schaumburg Assigned the contract of RHP Nigel Thatch (Rookie) to Fullerton of the Golden Baseball League in exchange for 1 pallet (60 cases) of Budweiser beer.

[edit]

Best Ad For A Silent Auction Ever (this was sitting on the fax machine this afternoon, from the Winnipeg Wine Festival):

"Great Silent Auction items including a Grand Prize of a trip for two to Jasper, AB (Transportation not included)"

Happy New Year!

2006-04-29T15:37:00.000-05:00

Today I picked up my season tickets. As I was walking into the ballpark, I passed the couple who sit right behind me. I looked up, thought "I recognize these people from somewhere," when it dawned on me. We shared a quick "Hi, how's it going?" moment and then kept on walking.

It was kind of weird - I don't know these people, don't know their names even, but for about 40 days a year we converse and visit, compare score sheets, and discuss pitches or calls at the plate. I have never seen them anywhere else and if I did it would be weird, but within the confines of the ballpark we are friends, neighbours.

But the restlessness was handed down

2006-04-21T21:35:00.000-05:00

There is a hotel I call on a somewhat regular basis, and every time they put me on hold or transfer me to a room I hear "Allentown" by Billy Joel. Never anything but "Allentown."

I never noticed it before, but this seems kind of odd.

Why must they try and cross-pollinate?

2006-04-19T00:37:00.000-05:00

Today I read that Toby Keith has fallen in love with curling, and he hired a guy to train him so he can compete in the 2010 Olympics. Why do people who get famous doing one thing insist on trying to do other famous things?

And I used to think that Jared Leto being a rock star was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard of.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

One more thing about the Junos

2006-04-06T12:14:00.000-05:00

Last night over a beer, my American friend said to me the following. It's one of the funniest things I have heard in a while:

Didn't Canada learn from the Grey Cup that you should never put the Black Eyed Peas on television?

My, How the Junos Sucked

2006-04-05T15:56:00.000-05:00

I gave up finishing my SXSW blog - it was taking too long. A long story made short: many bands, many beers, many good times. See you in 2007.

So the Junos were this past weekend. While I like the idea of an awards show for Canadian music, it has become SO LAME in recent years. First i thought it would just suck, then I found out Pamela Anderson was the host so I knew it would blow. Then she started spouting off about PETA and it started to lick.

Then just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it turns out Michael Buble's people were advertizing awards he won BEFORE he won them. So now I just wonder, what's the point?

SXSW part the second

2006-03-17T02:25:00.000-06:00

Thursday was a good day. After taking it (relatively) easy on Wednesday, we got up in plenty of time to hit Starbuck's and see the Keynote Address. Why does Starbuck's put that hard sugar crud on the tops of their muffins? It's a little bit weird. Oh well.

Went to the Austin Convention Centre to see Neil Young in conversation with Johnathan Demme. Of course it was totally RAD to see Neil, but to see him chatting with the guy who made - among others - Silence Of The Lambs was pretty cool. Neil talked about his various projects, and what struck me the most was how many different types of folks were there. No matter how old you are or what kind of music you like, there are about 65 Neil Young albums geared to your taste. He takes a lot of shit from people who want to see him play "Needle & the Damage Done" and "Heart of Gold" but no matter what the guy does, it's fucking brilliant. And the fact that he was really funny too, that was just a bonus.

Scoped out the trade show. Got as much schwag as possible - lighters, lanyards, magazines, etc. as possible. Free stuff – ahh, the wonder of it all! The lighters cannot go home with me, but the sharpies will. And you can never have too many sharpies.

SOCAN/ASCAP boat ride. This is an interesting exercise where the music royalty associations to whom we pay 3% of everything we take at the door pay us back with a 45 minute cruise on Town Lake where they give us sandwiches and free beer. Seems like a pretty good trade-off to me!

The UK Music Association has their party in Brush Square, right at the heart of the action. It's a lot like the Canadian party, except that they don't give out drink tickets. Rather, they just have an open bar policy, which makes is a far-more-fun event than many. There seem to be four types of parties here:

1.The invite-only party, where you have to know someone to get in. These ones tend to have high profile music and LOTS for free booze.
2.The sort-of-invite-only party, where you might have to get on the list beforehand, but you can probably talk your way in with a good attitude and a badge. There will still be free booze
3.The awareness-raising party – staged by various music associations, agencies, and so on and so forth. These are advertised to the general conference populace and likely will give you a beer ticket or two at the door. Unless you know someone who is connected the party's sponsor, in which case you can swing more.
4.The lame-ass party, which is sponsored by someone or something that wants to advertise itself but doesn't want to spend a penny. These are public events and take place in bars where you have to pay regular price for every drink.

It just now occurs to me that there is a 6th kind pf party, and this one is cool. It takes place in an alley and is open to anyone who can damn well find it. There is live music, and all the free Pabst Blue Ribbon you can ingest. I really think it's the best kind of party, and not just because they only serve the PBR!

In any case, there are lots of parties and they usually involve some combination of food, booze, and music. Some are memorable by their abundance of beer, some by the lack of it. The UK party was definitely one of the former, while the High Times magazine party definitely falls into the latter category.

A quick trip up Red River takes us to the Mint / Six Shooter Records party, hosted by my great pal, the lovely and talented miss Carolyn Mark. Mint is not only Carolyn's musical home, but also some of my other friends including Novillero and Neko Case. Six Shooter is like the Toronto version of Mint – my friend and dog-walking buddy Christine Fellows, as well as Luke Doucet who I don't know well but I certainly do hope his album Broken and Other Rogue States wins a Juno this year. This party is a hootenanny affair – Carolyn is in charge and makes various and sundry members of every band on both labels play together in an afternoon orgy of gin and Can-Con.

As an aside: Carolyn is taking the Hootenanny on tour to Ontario this year – it will feature O Suzanna, Luther Wright, Geoff Berner, Shuyler Jansen, and a few others. If you're in the biggest province, make sure you don't miss this!

Heading out from the Mint party, I detour with my friend Greg (an Albertan) to the Albert party. It's in Brush Square but unfortunately the sound from the very raucous Japanese party in the next tent drowns out the songwriters. Bad timing perhaps...in any case I decide it would be good to hit the hotel for an hour, get off the feet and take a little break in preparation for the big night tonight. With that sage idea in mind I stay in the park and have a few more drinks. So many, in fact, that my travelling companion has spent an hour doing exactly what I had planned and already returned to the park.

That's when the text message comes in. I don't know if this is a new thing this year or not since my Telus phone refuses to text anything properly down here in the USA, but my buddy gets a message saying “Beastie Boys @ Stubb's, 7:15. Badges only.” So with a vague idea that it might get a little busy, we head to Stubb's. The lineup is down the block, around the corner, and down a hill. We decide it would be well worth the risk, so we get in line. Some dudes from the venue are checking valid badges and then handing out coloured wristbands to mark us as “yes, you really are in line.” Other people are not so lucky. Well, the ones without the badges, which I guess makes them not “unlucky,” but rather just not entitled to the same access as us.

There is a really interesting class system at this conference/festival – it goes “badge, wristband, proletariat.” I'm usually much more of a socialist, but in this case, I paid good money to get into these venues and you didn't, so get the hell out of my way!

Anyway. We stand in the line for about 45 minutes when it starts to move. It seems that they split it half way up and started letting people into the venue from another entrance, much closer to where we are standing. Jackpot! We're going to be in in no time! Then, as if by the hand of god, they decide to close that door when we're about 20 people away. Sucks, we'll be going in the front door.

As the line moves, ever so slowly, we notice another line on the main road. It seems to be wristband holders – people who didn't but as expensive a thing as us. They start letting some of them in. Which, despite my socialism, is a real pisser. I mean, what am I paying for? I actually came here to attend the conference, and to take part in lots of the event as opposed to those who just come to see shows. I think it annoyed lots of people in our lineup when they saw this happening. Oh well, some food for thought for the future.

Anyway, all that aside, we get in. Beasties are great. They open with Brass Monkey, and lead a singalong of “Paul Revere.” It was hugely fun. The only regret I have is that I stayed for the whole thing which meant that I missed a good portion of John Vanderslice's set. I did catch about 3 songs at the end, and they were great. He's so good. If you don't know who he is, I highly recommend you check him out on Barsuk Records.

I head to the Mint Records showcase afterwards, just as Miss Carolyn is taking the stage. I've seen a million Carolyn Mark shows over the years, and you know what the weird thing is? I've never seen a BAD Carolyn Mark show. She is, without a doubt, the best entertainer working in Canada. The Mint showcase is hosted by Nardwuar the Human Serviette. I like Nardwuar because he is the man who not only inspired former Prime Minister Jean Chretien to say “Pepper? I put it on my plate...” but who also told former leader of the USSR Mikhail Gorbachev to “Keep on Rockin In The Free World” - in Russian. Good fellow.

Leaving the Mint showcase I had to the Bloodshot showcase to see a one-man blues wrecking crew called Scott H. Biram. One of the things about any kind of huge multi-band extravaganza is the happy discoveries. In this case, while waiting for the aforementioned Mr. Biram, I bore witness to a band called the Deadstring Brothers, who were really into 70s rock. Think Stones – Exile on Main Street – but younger and less emaciated. It was great, as was Scott, who took the stage right afterwards.

Back to the Mint showcase – it's in the neighbourhood, and my friends from Novillero are playing. I like that band a lot. Go buy their album Aim Right For the Holes In Their Lives – it's one of the best of 2005. I watch them for a bit before I head to my own special treat of the week – the new lineup of The Alarm. Mike Peters is the only original member, but the new lineup is good and they rock out. The Alarm is a band that I listened to incessantly in high school, and was sad when they released an album called Raw. Let's face it, when one of your favourite bands puts out an album that just plain SUCKS, it's disappointing. And I'm not talking about a band doing some experimentation, changing things up (see Neil Young, above), but rather just losing the ability to make good records. Fortunately, The Alarm disbanded – ha! Dis-BAND-ed! - shortly thereafter. To date, U2 still hasn't realized that Rattle & Hum was the last good record they will ever make, and continue to put out complete shit. Oh well, there's some men you just can't reach.

Anyway, the Alarm has a new lineup and it was great. They also have a new record com gin out so they played more new stuff than hits, but it all sounds like it comes from the same place. I saw Mike Peters solo last year and it was ALL hits, so I guess he's allowed to try and get people excited about his new stuff now. The thing about the Alarm was another one of those “pleasant surprises” before the show. This time it was a band called The Like from Los Angeles. I saw a lot of all-girl rock bands, and they stood out.

Edit: I have since found out that the ultra-lameass Canadian band Magneta Lane is talking shit about The Like. Too bad Magneta lane sucks!

South by Southwest Day 1 (1/2)

2006-03-16T02:19:00.000-06:00

I have been in Texas for about 30 hours or so now, and some swell stuff has happened thus far. You know going into something like this that weird shit will happen, but so far it's been great. My chronicle to date (and when my phone can send pictures, watch for the visuals. In the meantime, you're stuck with words. For complaints or concerns please call Telus, who can't seem to figure out text messaging!)

Tuesday evening:

Arrived hotel. Unpacked; hit the Green Mesquite for dinner. Two meat platter with some fried ochra and coleslaw for seven bucks. Lone Star at $1.85 a bottle - God I love this place! Shared our cab with some Canadians who ended up footing the bill. God Bless Canada. I really recommend this place if you like the meat, however, as the staff were all friendly and did I mention the price of beer?

Went to see The Strokes, who I don't really like, but it was sold out (phew!). Went to BD Riley's on 6th for some beers, it was open mic. For someone in my posiiton, that is almost the kiss of death. But we were sitting in the back of the bar minding our business when we heard the name of the next performer - Wyckham Porteous, from Canada. I have a couple of Wyckham's albums and I really like them but he lost me a few years ago. It was weird to see a guy who I once really liked up there playing "Hungry Heart" by Bruce Springsteen to a crowd that didn't really get it (though it wasn't that great to begin with). I was a professional sound guy for 5 years and the first person I ever did sound for was Wyckham - funny how things change.

Went to Antone's to see Bob Schneider. It was ho-hum, and we left. But it was cool to see people of all ages pay $10 to see someone - anyone - on a Tuesday night.

Wednesday:

Got up at 11; went for lunch. In Austin, you pretty much have 2 choices - barbeque or Mexican, so we chose the latter. I had an excellent Ensalada con Pollo. Then we walked to some record stores and around the University of Texas. I took the Armadillo bus twice. Went to the Canadian party for an hour, before bolting to attend the audience-facilitated Q&A with the Beastie Boys.

The Lads were hilarious. It seemed as though they didn't want to be there, and they answered the questions with simple answers so as to say "we don't want to be here." But they made me laugh with lots of talk about Pampers, Prince, and their lawyers.

Tacos for dinner. Why is it that Canada is so open-minded except when it comes to where you can drink? People just want to have a beer while standing on the sidewalk, not break the law. You can do that here...

Quick drink at the Continental Club - best bar in town, really, except that drinks seem more expensive than they did a year ago. The band was called "Greyhound" - adequate at best.

Austin Music Awards - want to see Roky Erikson; he's on at 10:15. 10:00 comes and the act before him still hasn't started. Eventually we get fed up (fed up while watching Kris Krostofferson, mind you) and decide to header. SMS arrives - Flaming Lips are playing at the Frog and Something, or the Toad and Something, or the something and something. Hop a cab.

The Lips RIP THE BAG OFF THE PLACE! From the opening strains of "Bohemian Rhapsody" to the closing riffs of "War Pigs" with Peaches on lead vocals, it was a party and a half. There is supposed to be another surprise guest at 1:00, so we stick around. We suffer through the shittiest band I've ever seen to no avail. "Our special guest is a no-show." Motherfucker.

Head to Antone's one again, and K-OS is playing. He had brushed against me earlier this afternoon at the Canadian BBQ so I feel I have some cred. Except that after I see him play, I don't want it - he strikes me as a bit of a loo. Granted, a bit of a loo who is WAY richer than me, but still a complete egomaniac. Finish your drink, your $6 drink, we have to see Neil Young in the morning.

ps - For a guy with a $500 laminate around my neck, I seem to have a lot of stamps on my hand...

A world of difference

2006-03-13T18:08:00.000-06:00

Here is a photo I took while driving home today. Granted, I shouldn't be taking pictures whlie driving, and much less doing so with my phone. I wasn't talking on it, I just had to pull it out of my pocket and flip it open - we were at a red light while I did all that.

Anyway.

Because it was taken with my crappy litte camera phone the detail is not so hot. But if you squint you'll see a Hummer driving beside a Smart Car. Two trendy cars, two completly different attitudes.

Roll Up The Rim To Get Screwed By Your Fucking Idiot Mother

2006-03-09T22:19:00.000-06:00

True Story:

One girl finds a roll up the rim to win cup. Another girls helps her roll it, and they win a Toyota worth $27,000. First girl's dad says "let's share the prize," while second girl's mum says "no way, it's ours." (At this point, the cup is in the posession of the first girl's family.) First girl's dad says "well, we were going to share but since you're so greedy we're not giving you anything."

My favourite part of the whole story is...well, okay, I have two favourite parts. The first is this:

But when the 12-year-old's mother, Nathalie Prevost, showed up, she said her family deserved to take the prize.

Prevost then called a local radio station to ask for legal advice, propelling the story into the media spotlight, said the Gazette.

So since when do you phone a RADIO STATION FOR LEGAL ADVICE YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER NIMROD?! Have you ever heard of the Law Line, or a friend who knows a lawyer? What the hell - "I think I need some legal advice in what could potentially net me as much as 30 Grand in cash...I know, I'll call the zany morning crew, Bob and Dan! They know a lot about fart jokes and sometimes give away trips to Mazatlan, so they'll probably have some pretty good insight into this question of property rights."

I'm SO glad that she's not getting any of the prize. It really does suck for her daughter, who probably stood to benefit from this stroke of pure luck before her mother made a complete balls-up of the situation.

My other favourite part: the story in the Winnipeg Free Press this morning said that the person who thought they might have been the one to throw the cup away in the first place was also considering legal action.

Maybe it was the zany morning crew, Bob and Dan, who suggested this person might have a snowball's chance in hell of making a case.

This is BIG

2006-03-09T03:01:00.000-06:00

Okay, so this is not a blog about sports (though to say that would beg the question "What is it about?" which seems like dangerous territory. In any case, winter olympics, spring training, and the World Baseball Classic are some things that have been en tete lately.

With that in mind, please look at the following photo:

Pretty cool, eh? That's Team Canada, led by a pitcher who started last season in AA ball and is still trying to earn a place in the majors, and a second baseman named Stubby who plays in the independant Northern League for a team called the Edmonton Cracker Cats. Today they beat Team USA - led by an MVP pitcher who won 22 major league games last year and a few other names of note. I read today that they combined payroll of Team USA is somewhere around $90 million - and our kids beat 'em.

This is cool. And I don't mean Canada beating the US, but simply that we beat the guys who invented the game. I feel like how the Swedes must feel when they beat Canada at hockey. It's a game that we like, but in all reality it's theirs. For today though, it's ours too - just a little bit.

The LA Times says "Canada Hangs U.S. Out to Dry"

The Seattle Times says "Say, eh: Canada beats Team USA in World Baseball Classic"

The Miami Herald says "State of Disbelief"

Forgive me for harping on these things. I know baseball is America's game and we will get beat by them more times than we will win. But for today, please just let me have this one.

Thanks.

RIP Puck

2006-03-06T22:52:00.000-06:00

From the Minneapolis Star Tribune

Goodbye, Kirby
Joe Christensen, Star Tribune

Kirby Puckett
On the day Kirby Puckett retired from baseball, he tried reassuring everyone that the sadness of losing sight in his right eye wouldn't diminish the spirit fans had seen him show for 12 seasons in a Twins uniform.

"Kirby Puckett's going to be all right," he said in 1996. "Don't worry about me. I'll show up, and I'll have a smile on my face. The only thing I won't have is this uniform on. But you guys can have the memories of what I did when I did have it on."

On Monday, the sports world held those memories close as Puckett died in a Phoenix hospital, one day after suffering a massive stroke. He was 45.

"It's gut-wrenching," Twins President Dave St. Peter said. "We lost a dear friend. Really, somebody who in many ways was the foundation of this franchise for a long time."

Puckett rose from a Chicago housing project and became a Minnesota sports icon, bursting onto the scene in 1984 with an energetic style and an effervescent smile, each all his own.

He led the Twins to the World Series in 1987 and 1991, leaping into walls as their center fielder and swinging with a might that belied his stocky, 5-8 frame.

"This is a sad day for the Minnesota Twins, Major League Baseball and baseball fans everywhere," Twins owner Carl Pohlad said in a statement. "Eloise and I loved Kirby deeply. Kirby's impact on the Twins organization, the state of Minnesota and Upper Midwest is significant and goes well beyond his role in helping the Twins win two world championships."

Puckett often said he played every game as if it were his last, and sure enough, on March 28, 1996, he awoke with blurred vision in his right eye.

He never played again. He was diagnosed with glaucoma and retired on July 12, 1996.

For the next five years, Puckett remained a smiling fixture on the Minnesota scene, working as an executive vice president for the Twins in an ambassadorial role.

In 2001, he became a first-ballot inductee into the National Baseball Hall of Fame with 2,304 career hits, 10 All-Star selections and six Gold Glove Awards.

Not all was as well in Puckett's personal life. His seemingly impeccable image began to tarnish in 2002, as details emerged from divorce proceedings with his wife, Tonya Puckett, who alleged that he had abused her and threatened to kill her.

Puckett said it wasn't true, but allegations from other women soon followed. He relinquished most ties to the Twins, moved his permanent residence to Arizona and disappeared from the public view.

Meteoric rise

Puckett had been raised in the Robert Taylor Homes, a south Chicago housing project. He received no college scholarship offers, so he went to work after high school on an assembly line for Ford Motor Co.

"I never forgot where I came from," Puckett said when he was elected to the Hall of Fame.

The Twins drafted him in 1982, and he reached the big leagues on May 8, 1984. He celebrated his arrival by getting four hits against the California Angels.

Puckett lore piled up quickly in 1987, when he led the Twins in hits as they came back from a 3-2 deficit against the St. Louis Cardinals in the best-of-seven World Series and won their first championship. He now had unqualified success to go with his uninhibited style.

"A 7- or 8-year-old kid watching the game would pick him out, and he just looked different," sportscaster Bob Costas said. "He had an affection for the game, and there was a kind of energy about it that was fun.

"I'm sure he took it seriously. You have to take it seriously in order to be a great player, but there was nothing grim about the way he went about it."

In 1991, the Twins again found themselves trailing in the World Series three games to two, this time to Atlanta.

But Puckett went around telling teammates to hop on his back for Game 6, that he would carry them to victory. Then he delivered two signature moments.

First, he made a leaping catch against the Metrodome's outfield Plexiglas in the third inning and robbed Ron Gant of an extra-base hit, saving a run from scoring. Then, in the 11th inning, Puckett became the ninth player in major league history to win a World Series game with a home run, pumping his arms in celebration as he rounded the bases.

Sudden end

Puckett turned 36 during spring training in 1996 and continued to torment Grapefruit League pitching.

On March 27, he went 2-for-3 in a game against the Braves, raising his spring average to .344. The next day, Puckett woke up and couldn't see Tonya, though she was sitting right next to him.

Three laser surgeries later, Puckett knew he would never be able to see well enough to hit major league pitching again. His right retina had irreversible damage, caused by a blockage of blood vessels.

He arrived at his retirement news conference wearing his white No. 34 jersey. He also wore sunglasses covering the gauze patch over his right eye.

"It's the last time you're going to see Kirby Puckett in a Twins uniform," he said. "I want to tell you all that I love you all so much."

The room was packed with reporters and Twins players. Puckett gave another pep talk: "I want my young teammates to know right now -- when you put the uniform on, you put it on and you play with pride and integrity. The way that Kent Hrbek plays with it -- played with it. And Paul Molitor and Knobby [Chuck Knoblauch] and all you guys play with it. Just don't take it for granted because you never know. Tomorrow's not promised to any of us."

Fall from grace

When Puckett was elected to the Hall of Fame, on Jan. 17, 2001, he called it one of the proudest days of his life.

But the next year, as he and Tonya were involved in divorce proceedings, his life began to spiral downward.

In March 2002, Anne Potter filed an order for protection against Tonya Puckett, alleging that Tonya had threatened to kill her over an alleged affair with Kirby.

That month, a St. Louis Park woman asked for protection from Kirby Puckett, saying in court documents that she had an 18-year relationship with him and that he had shoved her in his Bloomington condominium.

Then, in September 2002, Puckett was involved with a woman in a very public incident at Redstone American Grill in Eden Prairie. That time, the woman accused Puckett of dragging her into a restaurant restroom and grabbing her breast.

After a nine-day trial, a jury ruled Puckett not guilty of false imprisonment, fifth-degree criminal sexual conduct and fifth-degree assault.

"I just want to go home," he said that day, when the verdicts were released.

He relinquished his role as Twins executive vice president. The team, which retired Puckett's jersey in 1997, tried maintaining ties to him, but he continued to withdraw.

When friends saw him, they grew increasingly concerned about the weight he was putting on his short frame, with estimates that he was well beyond 300 pounds.

But for those who saw him in Arizona at Harmon Killebrew's charity golf tournament in November, there was renewed hope. Puckett had spoken of taking better care of himself. Recently, there was news that he planned to remarry in June.

And there was always appreciation of him as a ballplayer and teammate.

"He made me a better coach," former Twins hitting coach Terry Crowley said. "He made Tom Kelly probably a better manager. He made the mediocre hitters on that team probably a little better. He was a pleasure. He really was."

Puckett would have turned 46 on March 14. He is survived by two children, Catherine and Kirby Jr., from his marriage to Tonya.

You Think They'd Know By Now!

2006-03-02T00:04:00.000-06:00

It snowed today - like, it really frickin' SNOWED! And I went out at rush hour, around 5, and the streets were chaotic. I've been here 2 years (well, less 2 days at the time of writing) and I am still at a loss to figure out how people can live in a city like Winnipeg and not understand winter.

Hello, people! Did y'all know that others refer to it as WINTERpeg? There's a reason for that, dude! So when you hear about an impeding snowstorm on the radio, in the paper, or on the net, you might want to plan ahead. Particularly as these prairie storms seem to come with a couple days warning. I mean, seriously. If you have the wherewithall to own and drive a motor vehicle, chances are you have access to a newspaper, radio, television, or computer. When they tell you a "major snowfall" is coming, why not get ready for it? I have assembled a list of things you might need to know in such a case.

1. The roads will be slippery. Your ability to both speed up and slow down is greatly reduced in a snowstorm. Drive at an appropriate speed.

2. Don't enter an intersection you won't be able to get out of (this also applies to dry road conditions, but seems to get worse in inclement weather). Just because the light is green doesn't mean go if it also means that you will end up blocking the traffic moving perpendicularly to you. in fact, the reason you're probably waiting so damned long is that another asshole at the next intersection has blocked it with the same idiot maneuver that you have just attempted.

3. Your horn doesn't make traffic move any more quickly. In fact, it makes me want to slow down even more just to piss you off.

4. You're in a car, but the people in the crosswalk a) have the legal right of way, and b) are putting up with way more out there in the cold than you are inside your car with the heat on. Let them cross, why don't you?

5. 4-wheel drive makes you go better.

5a. 4-wheel drive doesn't make you stop better. I know you're itching to use it since you bought that $40,000 SUV that you've never taken remotely close to "off road," but learn how it works first, please.

6. If you get stuck, don't spin your tires. I'm tired of digging you out.

It just now occurs to me that much of this applies year-round. However, drivers in Manitoba seem to be the worst I have ever encountered (and yes, I HAVE lived in France!). We also seem to have the worst bus drivers on the planet - do busses obey the same traffic laws in this province as in others?

Like my girlfriend says, "It might say 'Friendly Manitoba' on the license plates, but just try and cross the street!"

O Canada

2006-02-25T15:21:00.000-06:00

What a fun day...

A good day in Italy

2006-02-23T00:17:00.000-06:00

I had this post I was working on about David Emerson and what a jackass he is, but I finally got so annoyed just looking at it that I decided to delete it. The short version is that if I saw him on the street, I'd try and poke him. Well, probably not, but I'd think about it, anyway.

So today at the Olympics a number of things happened:

1. Our long trackers won gold and silver - that was awesome! Speed skating is one of those sports that you don't ever think about except when the games roll around, and then Canada does so well and we all get totally into it.

***True story - In 1998 I spent a week as the driver for Neil Marshall when he was in a commerical. It was a Volkswagon Golf commercial only aired in Europe, but I drove him to and from the location every day. On the day it wrapped we got really - I'm talking STINKY - drunk together. Neil Marshall is now Cindy Klassen's coach, and she is the winningest Canadian Olympian ever. I am positive that somewhere along the line I had something to do with it.

2. Short trackers won a silver. Short track speed skating is even cooler than long track because there is way more G force and those relays look so crazy with all the people flailing around, and someone almost always wipes out taking a half dozen others with them. It doesn't get as much press as long track, but it should. I have never drank with short trackers, but I bet it would be fun.

3. Brad Gushue won his semi final, and will play for olympic gold on Friday. He is my favourite olympian this year. He totally put Jeff Stoughton in his place during the trials in November when Stoughton told the press that the kid wouldn't even be a factor in the tournament, and then the kid beat his sorry ass in the final. "Hope you had fun in Steinback, Jeff, sorry we'll miss you in Regina but we're going to Italy!"

5. Shannon Kleibrink lost her semifinal curling match. She still gets to play for bronze, which is cool. I hope she wins it.

4. Our men's hockey "team" lost. While I am somewhat saddened by this because I like Canada to win lots of stuff, ever since they brought pros into the hockey competition I think it has been kind of lame. It's like Canada and the US are trying to buy themselves a trophy, and it just doesn't seem right. These guys make millions of dollars while other olympians do it for love. They don't even show up for the beginning of the games, and well, they're just not a team.

Look at the women - when they won it was cool because they ARE a team. They play together all the time, travel, practise, and work together. The men are all like "Okay, we'll put our lives on hold for a week (not two, mind you) and come and win a gold for Canada." But >ahem<.

That's all I'll say.

Election night

2006-01-23T23:16:00.000-06:00

They won, but not by much. We did better than we've done since 1998, and that's good.

Good.

GOOD.

Paul Martin just quit as Liberal leader. Can't say that upsets me too much.

I was worried this morning...now I don't feel great but I feel a whole lot better, just the same.

Viva beisbol!

2006-01-20T12:31:00.000-06:00

"Update your damn blog" they said. So I did, and I changed my picture and everything. I put a little note about Cuba being barred from the World Baseball Classic because of stupid American politics.

About 12 hours later, Cuba is in! I should write about more stuff that pisses me off...

Anyway, it's cool that they get to play, but still not cool that the US is causing such pain and grief in my favourite little Island Nation. The US is worried about Cubans making money...Cuba is donating any money they might have made off this event to U.S. victims of Hurricane Katrina! Talk about who's the better neighbour...

''Working closely with World Baseball Classic, Inc., and the State Department, we were able to reach a licensable agreement that upholds both the legal scope and the spirit of the sanctions,'' Molly Millerwise, a Treasury Department spokeswoman said, reading from a prepared statement.

I love that - "the spirit of the sanctions" Quite from the Miami Herald, by the way (link). It seems the US may still be violating the Olympic charter, it's about cycling this time though.

Happy New Year Already

2006-01-19T22:14:00.000-06:00

I'm going on a trip to the nation's capital, and I'll be there for the election. I think I should go to the Mayflower and watch Canada fall apart. Or the Aloha Room. Mmmmm...Ottawa.

Also, I have retired Roger Clemens' photo in favour of the Cuban flag. It really bothers me that the US government won't let Cuba play in the World Baseball Classic. Some world tourney. You can still see the old photo here.

It's pretty rad that baseball season starts in March this year.

Rad is such a great word.

Insults and injuries

2005-12-21T16:11:00.000-06:00

Q: What's worse than getting your truck window smashed out (see below)?

A: Getting your truck window smashed out at the beginning of the work day and having a flat tire at the end of the same work day.

Why couldn't they just put gum in the locks?

2005-12-20T15:25:00.000-06:00

My truck got broken into today. Nothing was stolen, and some nice people from the office down the road chased the culprit off.

What could they have stolen?

- a pair of jeans, a coat, and a hoodie
- lots of tapes (Shakespeare, My Butt by the Lowest of the Low, Dream Into Action by Howard Jones, and Beelzebubba by the Dead Milkmen were the cream of the crop).
- a hydraulic jack
- napkins...LOTS of napkins
- fifty-odd cents in change
- assorted fast food garbage

What did they steal?

- nothing
- nada
- zip
- zero
- zilch

However, I'm going to be out two hundred and eighty bucks - four days before Christmas, mind you - and that's the really crappy part. As Randall said to Dante, "A bunch of savages in this town!"

RIP Richard Pryor

2005-12-12T16:51:00.000-06:00

This guy was funny. Being only nine years old at the time, I was unable to convince my parents I should be allowed to see "Stir Crazy" when it came out. I did eventually get to see it, and it was a great movie. As was "The Toy," and who could forget him as "The Wiz," or the guy who sold Gonzo the balloons in "The Muppet Movie," or the guy who skied off the roof in "Superman III"?

I think my favourite though has to be "Brewster's Millions," because it had not only Richard Pryor, but also John Candy and a baseball theme. And, as a quick IMDB search also points out, Jerry Orbach.

If you're into stand up comedy, which I spent a lot of time listeing to as a kid, check out "Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip."

As It Happens rules

2005-12-09T18:37:00.000-06:00

Well, I left it up for longer than I had planned, and the winner was As It Happens. The Current caught up in the end and made a race of it, but it seems like a final score of 8 to 6 has made As It Happens the clear and cut winner. Congratulations are in order!

But they're both good shows, so keep listening to them both!

Congratulations also go to The Lone Banana, who knew where the African Anteater ritual came from.

Quickie Update

2005-11-23T11:45:00.000-06:00

It's 80% in favour of As It Happens right now. Did you know that the name of the song is "Curried Soul" and it was written by Moe Koffman, and that at one point AIH used a version of the tune done by Parachute Club? Wowzers.

Here's a Link to a CBC page reporting Mr. Koffman's death in 2001. You can hear Robert Fulford's Interview (and Babbs' intro) with him after he was awarded the Order of Canada in 1993, and even better, you can Listen to the AIH theme song in Real format.

(Thursday afternoon now...) Here is the email I got back from the folks at The Current. Their music is still lagging behind, but catching up slowly.

Our theme song doesn't have a name (as far as we know) but it was written by Adam Goddard, a local Toronto musician, songwriter and award winning documentary maker. We don't really have the theme music posted anywhere in particular (separately) on the website, but of course you can hear it on the
opening of all the RA files (parts 1 and 2) on the website.

A little Google search shows Mr. Goddard has done a lot of radio and music, and I think he plays the flute (as did Mr. Koffman...co-inky-dink or what!?). Then for fun, I typed in www.adamgoddard.com anmd found out way more about him than I could have hoped for. The best part is that he also composed the little trailer that plays right before the hourly news. Check it out here. This guy is AWESOME!

Dancin' to the swingin' sounds of CBC newsmagazines

2005-11-22T13:35:00.000-06:00

I have always enjoyed dancing to the opening sounds of CBC Radio One's As It Happens. It's just got that sound, you know? But lately I've been getting a little jiggy with the theme to The Current. I find it's good in the morning, when I'm lying in bed thinking about getting up - it gives me a little jolt.

Then I started wondering - which one would I choose if I had to take only one show to a desert island? Would it be the jolty, jerky movements I do that sort of remind me of the African Anteater Ritual (extra points if you name that reference) in the morning, or the sultry, almost slutty groove I get while making dinner? I don't think I could decide. How do you feel about it?

Which theme music is better: As It Happens, or The Current?
As It Happens
The Current

Current results

Depends on how you look at it...

2005-11-18T19:13:00.000-06:00

You can make anything pretty look ugly if you want to, and if you want to make something ugly look pretty you can do that too. It's just a matter of how you want to spin it.

This is hilarious...

Edit: view the offending clip here.

Walking in a winter wonderland, looking forward to spring training!

2005-11-15T18:38:00.000-06:00

Thanks CBC for the images...

Winnipeg awoke to not just a blanket of snow, but one of those old quilts your grandparents used...really heavy, really soft, and just a bit dangerous. I heard on the radio that there were almost 500 reported claims to our provincial insurance company today alone.

I love snowstorms - the madness, the whiteness, the fact that every time it happens people wonder why. Canada is a winter country (well, not you BC!) and we should be prepared. Yet we're always caught off guard. I think it's pretty funny really.

Yay, winter is finally here!

Now to more pressing business. Today the Winnipeg Goldeyes professional baseball club named pitching coach Rick Forney as their new Field Manager. To me, this is good news. Rick has been with the team for quite a while now (6 years) and learned well from his mentor and former manager Hal Lanier. I firmly believe that the team will benefit. After all, part of what has made the Northern League great is its propensity for getting people back into The Show. Rick has experience in organized ball, but he also understands the indy leagues. What better place to start your managing career? Who better to lead this team that desperately wants back into the playoffs?

We play Fargo-Moorehead 4 times in the pre-season and then the first game of the 2006 season will be against Hal Lanier and the Joliet Jackhammers. That will be fun...

A Puzzle For You

2005-11-14T15:54:00.000-06:00

World Champions and one really pressing question

2005-10-30T21:47:00.000-06:00

I missed the entire world series. I worked every night it was on. I had the radio feed, and I even tried to get the on-line video, but alas it's not allowed here in Canada.

And Chicago won. Too bad the other Sox were not in The Show, but whatever, as long as A) the Yankees didn't make it, and B) Houston (read, anything to do with all things Bush) didn't win it, and C) Roger Clemens didn't win. I don't like that guy. Hello Splitsville, thanks for noticing!

Now then...

What does Contest Girl do now that Brent lives in Toronto? Who is that INTERN they have asking questions on Saturday mornings?

Just catching my breath

2005-10-26T19:48:00.000-05:00

October is a busy time. Lots of work, little time for play. A few blocks away from where I work a 17 year old kid got killed when he was caught in the crossfire of a gang war. Since it happened, the politicians and the police have vowed to crack down on the gangs in this inner-city, one of the poorest in Canada.

Some are bemoaning the fact that it took a nice kid from a private school getting killed to attract the attention of the cops to our little corner, and there's probably some truth to that. There's lots of bad stuff that happens around here, but at the time there's a lot of bad stuff that happens in the suburbs, too. Either way, it's a little disconcerting.

In the meantime, I just keep on keeping on, being glad that CBC is back on the air and listening to the ball game on the web.

What do we cut?

2005-09-13T21:58:00.000-05:00

I've been reading a lot of people commenting in various forums about folks who think we have to get rid of the CBC in order to save the Canadian health care system. Why?

The CBC is a fundamental part of our country - just like the right to break your leg and not worry about your Visa balance. Canada has a lot of problems, like our need to find and retain more professional young people, or our need to provide enough doctors for people, or our need to provide our military with reliable equipment (not to depose the mideast enemy of the month, mind you, but to help put out forest fires in BC, or to help turn the lights back on after an ice storm in Quebec...these kinds of things). I'd rather we concentrated on these things than blamed CBC for the problems with Medicare.

Why do we have to cut public services? Why not cut tax breaks to corporations? Why don't we look at how much money the banks make (what's that? you say you lost money this year? I guess you shouldn't have gotten involved with Enron then, should you...)? The plain truth is that there is a lot more that Canada could be doing, rather than looking at which GREAT parts of the country we should chop up.

Things that make you go AAAAAAARGGGGHHHH!

2005-09-12T15:05:00.000-05:00

I watched TV news last night for the first time since the lockout began. It was BAD! Memo to CBC brass - get a scab who can actually read! There was a nice item on people in Quebec who fill their gas tanks really slowly as a protest against pump prices, and maybe something else but it was all pretty lame. then they switched to BBC news which while it is nice, it's not what CBC should be doing.

Oh hey - I got a letter from Liza Frulla, Minister of canadian Heritage, about the letter I wrote her asking that she get involved. Actually, it wasn't her that responded, it was some guy named Luc Rouleau, who is Director of Ministerial Correspondance Secreteriat:

The Minister appreciates your advising her of
your views and hascarefully noted your comments
with respect to this matter. While theDepartment
of Canadian Heritage is responsible for overall
broadcastingpolicy and legislation, the CBC operates
independently of the Governmentunder a framework provided in the Broadcasting
Act. As an autonomous Crowncorporation, its Board of Directors
and senior management are responsiblefor its day-to-day operations, including
its labour relations.

In view of the autonomy of the CBC, you might
wish to share yourviews directly with Mr. Robert
Rabinovitch, its President and ChiefExecutive Officer, at the
address provided in the enclosure.

So there you go. Thank you for passing the buck, M. Rouleau. I
guess I'll write to Mr. Rabinovitch.

Hurricane Katrina - Why???

2005-09-01T17:30:00.000-05:00

Here are some reasons you can find on line:

1. Because God hates homosexuals. From Repent America:

"Southern Decadence" has a history of filling the French Quarters section of the city with drunken homosexuals engaging in sex acts in the public streets and bars...This yearÂs 34th annual "Southern Decadence" was set for Wednesday, August 31, 2005 through Monday, September 5, 2005, but due to massive flooding and the damage left by the hurricane, Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco has ordered everyone to evacuate the city...New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. From the devastation may a city full of righteousness emerge...We must help and pray for those ravaged by this disaster, but let us not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long..."

2. Because God hates abortion, and America allows it. From Columbia Christians for Life as quoted in Salon.com (you'll need to watch the commercial if you don't have a subscription):

"The image of the hurricane ... with its eye already ashore at 12:32 p.m. Monday, August 29, looks like a fetus (unborn human baby) facing to the left (west) in the womb, in the early weeks of gestation (approx. 6 weeks)," the e-mail message says. "Even the orange color of the image is reminiscent of a commonly used pro-life picture of early prenatal development"...the Columbia Christians for Life have an answer for everything. God has already punished California with earthquakes, forest fires and mudslides; New York with 9/11; and Florida with Hurricanes Bonnie, Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne and the early version of Katrina.

** Interestingly, when I tried to find the original version of this press release, I couldn't. Anyone?

I actually have my own theory on this one, too - Y'see, in the 2004 presidential election, most of Louisiana voted for Bush, but New Orleans went overwhelmingly towards Kerry. So maybe this means that God was actually only punishing the city of New Orleans?

3. Because the US government doesn't give a rat's patootie about anything except the war in Iraq. I'm leaning a little more towards this one than the other two. It seems that despite all of the evidence saying New Orleans' levees were in need of serious work, and despite the Army Corps of Engineers telling the federal government that they needed money, the Bush administration did nothing. Well, no, I shouldn't say "nothing" - this article seems to maybe possibly suggest that the President and his people actually made it worse. Have a look at it:

Did New Orleans Catastrophe Have to Happen? 'Times-Picayune' Had Repeatedly Raised Federal Spending Issues

More on CBC

2005-09-01T16:54:00.000-05:00

Here's part of a letter I sent off to the Minister of Canadian Heritage, as well as the federal minnister of Labour and a few others:

"...would private sector broadcasters send NHL hockey for free all over the country, from downtown Toronto to the high arctic? I think not. Use the same analogy and substitute news, movies, comedy, documentaries, or whatever other form of entertainment you prefer on either radio or TV, and you get the same result. The CBC is the only broadcaster committed to providing information to every single Canadian.

CBC brass may argue that the Corporation needs to become more like private sector broadcasters, but I would like to state unequivocally that this is not so. In fact, the CBC needs to not act like others, simply because it performs a different service. If it turns into a carbon copy of Global, CTV, CHUM, or Chorus, what is the point of having it at all? The CBC must also be allowed to continue nurturing, training, and rewarding its staff. The less job security, the less pride of workmanship there is in any situation. The CBC is a vital institution and must not be sacrificed on this alter of supposed “competitiveness”. Why pay a staff member when you can contract someone to do it for half the price? The answer is that Canadians will get what they pay for, and they will not be happy.

The people we hear and see on CBC are our friends – we spend time with them every day and they bring something to our lives that reminds us we are Canadian. I urge you to intervene and let our friends go back to work. Public broadcasting makes Canada great, and quality staff make Canadian public broadcasting great. Please don’t let the CBC management kill it."

Hard Times in the Big Easy

2005-08-30T13:30:00.000-05:00

New Orleans is sinking.

My local newspaper today said that they need our help. I don't want to play political football with poor people's lives, but isn't the USA one of the richest countries on Earth? How much do they spend on tax breaks for rich people, warring against sovereign nations, and giant SUVs?

It's a real pickle. Do we send money to help people out because we KNOW their government isn't responsible enough to do it? Especially in light of recent developments over the US's refusal to abide by NAFTA (memo to Mulroney et.al.: told you so!). Man, I hate these moral dilemmas.

I Want My CBC

2005-08-26T12:46:00.000-05:00

After 2 weeks of living without The Current, Global Village, Go, and As It Happens, I've had it. That's not even mentioning anything that happens on Weekday mornings before 8:37 am and pretty much all day on Saturdays. CBC employees have been locked out and there does not seem to be an end in sight. I have a lot of friends who work at CBC and I know they would rather be at work right now. In fact, I'd rather be listening to the fruits of their labour than my current settings of great oldies and 80s.

There are a lot of places you can look for info about the lockout:

www.cbcunplugged.com and cbcontheline.ca are general

Locked out in Winnipeg is a blog based in - you guessed it - Winnipeg

www.cmgmanitoba.com is the Canadian Media Guild's Manitoba site

cbckeydemo.blogspot.com is a group from Ottawa who want to show that people between 18 and 35 CARE about the CBC.

www.lectio.ca makes these cool graphics like the one up in the corner

Anyway, it's about time that the workers were let back in the building. Canada without CBC would be completely boring. Thanks to all of you who make our lives more interesting.

On a related note, I received an email from a manager at CBC Winnipeg urging me to support their application for an FM transmitter. Wow, an FM signal would be great - if there was programming being produced. Living and working in downtown among the concrete and steel sure plays hell on the AM signal. How do you say "I'd be happy to support it despite the Corporation's miserable treatment of its workers" - it wouldn't be true. How about "I will if you end this lockout and treat your employees with the respect they deserve."

Any suggestions?

RIP Ibrahim Ferrer

2005-08-08T17:02:00.000-05:00

One more of the Buena Vista Social Club's heavy hitters has passed. Lots of people saw that movie, and kudos to Ry Cooder for making so many people aware of Cuban music. And Cuban culture, for that matter.

Saw Mr. Ferrer perform last summer, and wow - was that man ever suave. We're talking Rico Suave-AY.

The Queen works at Newsworld

2005-08-04T12:40:00.000-05:00

We're getting a new Governor General, Michaëlle Jean. I think that's cool. Of course, many people will whine and say we should get rid of the GG altogether, or that it's a waste of money, but I say as long as we're going to have a figurehead why not make it someone cool. Check it out. She even looks like the Queen:

Feels good to be Hope on the inside today...

2005-07-29T12:52:00.000-05:00

So there I was, sitting at the back of the room watching Evan Dando, alone with just a guitar on stage, singing The Lemonheads' greatest hits. All of a sudden, who walks by but Molly Parker? Twitch City is one of the best Canadian TV shows ever.

And if that wasn't enough, it turns out they know each other - what are the chances? It was so cool.

Yes, but they shouldn't return the favour...

2005-07-21T14:43:00.000-05:00

It seems US secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was a little upset about some of her staff and US journalists getting physically pushed around in Sudan. CBC Reported on the incident, noting that she said "they have no right to push and shove."

My immediate reaction was, "I wonder how Maher Arar feels about that," what with him having been pushed around by the US (and Canada as well). Then I remembered this link of all the countries the US has pushed around since the end of World War II.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._foreign_interventions_since_1945

Meme answers

2005-07-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

The answers are now posted in the comments section. Have a swell day.

The Beach Just Ain't So Grand...

2005-07-19T15:05:00.000-05:00

I went to Grand Beach Provincial Park last weekend. It is a nice looking park, but completely filled with the kind of Budweiser drinkin', cartoon pants wearin', hat-on-backwards kind of yahoos that I try to avoid most days.

It was also the worst-kept provincial park I've ever been in, too. Lots of garbage in the sites. I left my site at 7 am and returned at noon, and the people across from me (who played lots of bad Hot AC music, which annoyed me because it meant I couldn't hear the classic rock from a few sites down the road) had left a GIANT pile of trash behind. Why can't people cart their crap out?

It was heartening to hear the people next to me get kicked out at 10:30 pm, but the Park officials stood there for an hour making them clean up their drunken party and taking their camp down. The only thing I wondered about was who ended up driving that night.

Most parks in manitoba are really nice, I have discovered. But this one was really disappointing. I won't be back there anytime soon...

Another meme

2005-07-19T15:02:00.000-05:00

What is a meme anyway? It sounds like a fancy word made up for the computer age. Oh well, please enlighten me. While I'm waiting, I'll pass on this thing that some folks I know are doing. Pop culture junkies...

Five things I just don't get:

1. Complaining about the weather.
2. Why green olives come in jars but black ones come in tins.
3. Muchmusic.
4. Why so many passed balls are scored as wild pitches.
5. Right wingers.

Five things (other than money) I wish I had more of:

1. Socks.
2. TV channels.
3. Aeroplan points.
4. Musical talent.
5. Beer.

Five least favourite words or phrases:

1. Irregardless .
2. Van (as in "couver") .
3. It's (when you mean "its").
4. Asterix (when you mean "asterisk").
5. Meridian (when you mean "median." One time when I lived in Vancouver I was forced to phone the U News at 11 people when the anchor said something about a car crashing into the meridian on the Upper Levels highway. When I pointed out to the guy that a meridian is a big imaginary line that circles the globe, he told me the anchor had actually NOT said the car crashed into the meridian, but rather was hit by another car and forced into it. I then said "well, even so - if a car hit or was forced into a big imaginary line that circles the globe, it wouldn't really be news, now, would it?" and then he hung up on me).

Five famous people I've spoken with in person:

1. Joe Strummer (he bought me a beer and invited me to sit with The Pogues.
2. Brian Mulroney (he also put his hand on my shoulder...ewwww!) .
3. Gene Hackman (he said "'morning boys!" to me and some others on Rodeo Drive in LA. We all said "Morning Gene!" back to him).
4. Bob MacDonald (I also bought him a Bushmills in return for his renditions of Monster Mash and Moondance).
5. Norah Young (the only woman who ever left me speechless after only a couple of words).

Five things I do daily that I don't enjoy:

1. Get out of bed.
2. Talk about money.
3. Wonder why my shower is so slow to drain despite my repeated attempts to clear it.
4. Fail to watch Seinfeld.
5. Restart my computer due to a crash.

Five things I wish I had the chance to do more often:

1. Travel.
2. Play music.
3. Climb mountains.
4. Speak French.
5. Take courses - you know, generally improve myself.

Five favourite movie, TV or literary quotations:

The object here is that you're supposed to guess the sources, and I'll post the answers in a day or so.

1. Books, movies, tv -- these things matter! Call me shallow, it's the fuckin' truth!
2. When you become thawed out your love will swamp the tracks, and my heart will be restored with virgin blood.
3. I believe in this and it's been tested by research, he who fucks nuns will later join the church.
4. That's when I whacked him with the olive loaf.
5. What do you mean, like laundry?

Five things I have done that sound like lies:

1. Thrown up in church.
2. Surfed on a moving car like in Teen Wolf.
3. Been in Times Square for New Years Eve, 1999.
4. Been hit by a car and not told anyone about it.
5. Kissed former NDP leader Audrey McLaughlin on the cheek while dressed as a sailor.

Tagged!

2005-07-14T12:11:00.000-05:00

I got tagged by Sunny to talk about books. I'm really more of a magazine guy, but I do from time to time read those things that are bound together with glue rather than staples. So...

Number of books I own: I counted 199 on the shelves last night, though that includes some really old textbooks that I was planning to get rid of. So I guess my laziness makes me look more intellectual than I really am.

Last book I read: Notes From A Small Island by Bill Bryson. I have recently discovered Bryson and have really enjoyed all of what I have read so far. This one was a travel diary of England by public transportation.

Last book I bought: Game Time: A Baseball Companion by Roger Angell. Angell has been writing about baseball for The New Yorker for over 40 years; this book is a selection of those essays. Interestingly enough, his mother Katherine White was also an editor at the same magazine, as was his stepfather E.B. White, who also wrote Charlotte's Web and co-authored The Elements of Style.

Five books that mean a lot to me
(in no particular order, and not including the phone book):

- High Fidelity by Nick Hornby. Music nerd has lady problems.

- Klondike by Pierre Berton. The Yukon is cool.

- Unravelling the Franklin Mystery: Inuit Testimony by David C. Woodman. First book (of many) that I read on Franklin's lost expedition.

- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Regular nerd has lady and interplanetary travel problems.

- Memoirs by Pierre Elliott Trudeau. Handsome nerd has Canadian unity problems.

I'm now supposed to tag someone else, but since no one ever reads this but Johnny Nemo, I'll ask him for his input.

Nice place, shame about the smell...

2005-07-01T13:25:00.000-05:00

I'm currently staying in a four star hotel. Since I smoke, I have a smoking room on what I assume is a smoking floor. Now, I know that smokers tend to smell the effects of their addiction to a lesser degree than non smokers, but when I stay at the Super 8 in a smoking room I don't get reeked out by it the same way I do in a posh place.

I got off the elevator yesterday and immediately noticed it. I stayed in a five star hotel a couple of months ago, and it was even more pungent there.

So essentially, the stinkiness of the hotel is directly proportional to the amount of money it costs to stay there. Wild.

Happy Canada Day.

Crazy about the environment

2005-06-24T13:35:00.000-05:00

This is too good to be true. "Promoting and environmental education" with a hummer. Read all about it here.

In other news, a really funny kid with great taste in movies was in a televised spelling bee. See it here.

Where have all the good men gone?

2005-06-17T15:40:00.000-05:00

My favourite sport was short lived. Or at least, it dropped out of sight pretty quickly. It turns out Gurmie isn't going to be charged for trying to sneak packages onto the plane because he did it the legal way. Oh well. Apparently he committed no criminal act. I guess it's still not a crime to be an idiot.

Oh well. Satellite radio is coming to Canada. That is good news. We'll still have CBC Radio One, and now we can get every major league baseball broadcast in crystal clarity.

Why do tribute shows sell out arenas, but good bands have trouble selling 100 tickets?

My new favourite sport

2005-06-09T17:13:00.000-05:00

My new favourite sport has GOT to be Grewal bashing. I've always been a fan of right-bashing, and in taking shots at writers, political leaders, talking heads, and so on. I've never been one for picking on little back-benchers, but lately I find that it's just way too much fun.

I am not a supporter of the Liberal Party - and since Paul Martin became PM, my good feelings towards them are even less than they once were. But as soon as this whole Grewal incident started, I figured there must be something about this guy. Why would the Liberals go after a nutbar like him if they needed to find someone to tip the balance? Someone who ran for the BC Reform party? Come on.

So anyway, the more info that has been coming out about this affair, the more entertaining it gets. Even if HALF of what they say about Grewal is true, it leads me to wonder how the guy can tie his own shoelaces, let alone sit as a Member of Parliament.

Anyway, read Buckets of Grewal for all the funnest news in the country. That guy is awesome...