I caught you a delicious bass...

When I was 8 years old I lived in England. At Halloween they carved turnips to make Jack-o-lanterns. I thought that was weird.

Aside to any beauty queens out there - England is where London is.

So the election is upon us, and the whole city has been caught up in the desire to fix the roads. I think roads are a pretty good example of the "Winnipeg - Don't set your sights too high" ethic of this town, but never better exemplified than here:





Wow - talk about rush hour! And he's right, it's UNACCEPTABLE! Also, what the fuck is that thing hanging off his coat?

Sometimes I wish shit like this happened to me...

Howie day

Who doesn't like to see a team advance by a walk-off homer? Better yet, who doesn't like to see the A's get swept by a walk-off homer?

(with all apologies to Tom Lehrer)

It just occured to me while I was reading about North Korea of how good a thing it was that the US invaded Iraq because Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and might use them.

"Shed no tears for Buck. I couldn't attend Sarasota High School. That hurt. I couldn't attend the University of Florida. That hurt. But not going into the Hall of Fame, that ain't going to hurt me that much, no. Before, I wouldn't even have a chance. But this time I had that chance. Just keep loving old Buck."

- John Jordan "Buck" O'Neil

plus

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The New York Yankees have paid almost $199,000,000 for their roster this year. That's ONE HUNDRED NINETY-NINE MILLION DOLLARS. Not too bad, when you consider that they are in hot pursuit of a 27th World Series title. What easier way to get it than to buy it?

Here are the payrolls of the other seven teams currently in contention (in millions):
- New York Mets $100.9
- Los Angeles Dodgers $99.1
- St. Louis Cardinals $86.9
- Detroit Tigers $82.3
- San Diego Padres $68.9
- Minnesota Twins $63.8
- Oakland As $62.3

The Yankees are rich, no doubt about it. In fact, the highest-paid three players on the team, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, and Jason Giambi make between them $66.6 Million. Yes, that's three dudes who make MORE than the entire Oakland As or Minnesota Twins organizations! Add in the next highest guy, Mike Mussina at a paltry $19M, and you're up to $85.6 mil, eclipsing the rosters of both San Diego and Detroit. However, you'd need to take a teeny bit of Randy Johnson's cash in order to reach St. Louis, but with his $15.6M you'd sail past the Cards, Dodgers, and Mets.

So you have A-Rod, Kid Roctober, the Giambino, Moose, and the Big Unit - five guys who make more than most other baseball teams. The Yankees are not a baseball team, they are a bank. It's like Mr. Burns hiring all those ringers to play against the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant.

Anyway, if they win the World Series then they can be content that it's been worth it. And all the New Yorkers like Spike Lee, Denzel Washington, Billy Crystal, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump can go on about how the greatest sporting spirit ever lives in the Bronx and stay blissfully ignorant of the real world. And by that I mean the real sports world, so I'm still stretching reality quite a bit.

Anyway, today they lost to the poor lowly Tigers (who finished the season with two fewer wins than they did). It's looking more likely that if they beat Detroit they'll face Oakland (4 fewer wins) in the next round, but a miracle might save the Twins (1 fewer win).

Consider it money well spent, boys. Oh, and try not to CHOKE on it...